Mayor of Motham #9- Violence and Tangerines
*Codpiece's Bedroom. He's woken up by the arrival of Zodiac*
Codpiece- Who's there?
Zodiac- Your destiny.
Codpiece- Can my destiny wait? It's 5:30
Zodiac- No. Get up. It's time for a busy day of body swapping
Codpiece- Urgh. Fine
*Codpiece gets out of bed. Zodiac looks down at his crotch in dismay*
Codpiece- What?
Zodiac- Where's your dick?
Codpiece- Eh?
Zodiac- You heard. You're supposed to have a giant dick! A great, floppy phallus!
Codpiece- Oh, I see what's happened... This happens quite often, actually. Truth is, I get my giant dong from the suit. You can have that if you want.
Zodiac- I don't want your super suit. I'd look ridiculous. What I wanted was a giant dick. Your giant dick. To impress Magpie
Codpiece- Well, I'm sorry, dicks don't grow that big. Not naturally. Look, I don't like wasting anyone's time. So take these. I was recommended them through a Pornhub ad.
Zodiac- Um. Thanks.
*Zodiac shoots Codpiece in the stomach*
Codpiece- Why?!
Zodiac- I'm sorry! I'm not used to people just giving me things!
--------------------------------
*The Gotham Royal Hotel. President Trump enters his room to discover Tiger Shark waiting for him*
Gaige- Donald Trump. We meet at last
Trump- Who the hell are you? Why do have a towel wrapped around your head?
Gaige- It's not a towel. And the name's Tiger Shark. Now, I'm asking you for help. Because I'm nice, generous and an all round decent guy, I'm going to give you the opportunity to decide for yourself. But here's what I want- Drury Walker to remain in office
Trump- Uh huh. Why shouldn't I send in a few of Gotham's fine, patriotic officers of the law in here to send you off to a nice comfy prison cell?
Gaige- Because then I will ensure that you will never see Melanie again
Trump- Who?
Gaige- ... Your wife...
Trump- Oh you mean Melania, darling Melania. She's great, just great. The greatest first lady this country has ever had, true fact. What were you saying?
Gaige- I'm saying I captured her
Trump- I have the best security in the world, nay the universe. Whole wide universe, can you imagine that? How could you do that?
Gaige- Well, I got a cardboard box, a ruler, a piece of string and an issue of Woman's Monthly
Trump- I don't believe you. You're a liar. I hate liars.
Gaige- Believe what you want but I encourage you to check your phone
*Trump grabs his phone. There is a video message. Melania is in the clutches of Electrocutioner and Cypher*
Melania- Trumpikins? Is that you Donnie?
Trump- It's me hot stuff.
Gaige- So now you know I'm not bluffing, I take it we have a deal
Trump- No.
Gaige- No?! I captured your wife! The First Fucking Lady!
Trump- And she'll be missed. Honestly, I'll miss her. But I think it's time to move on. I'm a handsome man. I'll find love again
Lester- Does this mean ve kill her?
Trump- Excuse me, you Russian dog, I'm talking. Mr Shark, I'm the kind of man who stands by his principles. Call me stubborn, call me cruel, I don't care. It's the only way to stop you ISIS scumbags
Gaige- I'm not from- Ok. Cypher? Plan B. See, I also have a hacker working to clear your bank accounts.
Trump- What did you want again?
Gaige- What I want is for you to keep Walker as Mayor, ok?
Trump- Fine. Why should I care?
Gaige- Because he killed a man. Nevermind, you said yes. Let's just move on
*Gaige opens the door to be met with several GCPD officers*
Gaige- Oh shit. This better work
GCPD #1- He's reaching for a backpack!
GCPD #2- Hands in the air
*Gaige presses a button on his backpack*
Trump- He's a bomber you fuckwits!
Gaige- Thank you Charlie
*The backpack expands into a kite*
Gaige- Hell yeah.
*Gaige soars out the window*
Mayor of Motham #9- Violence and Tangerines
*Codpiece's Bedroom. He's woken up by the arrival of Zodiac*
Codpiece- Who's there?
Zodiac- Your destiny.
Codpiece- Can my destiny wait? It's 5:30
Zodiac- No. Get up. It's time for a busy day of body swapping
Codpiece- Urgh. Fine
*Codpiece gets out of bed. Zodiac looks down at his crotch in dismay*
Codpiece- What?
Zodiac- Where's your dick?
Codpiece- Eh?
Zodiac- You heard. You're supposed to have a giant dick! A great, floppy phallus!
Codpiece- Oh, I see what's happened... This happens quite often, actually. Truth is, I get my giant dong from the suit. You can have that if you want.
Zodiac- I don't want your super suit. I'd look ridiculous. What I wanted was a giant dick. Your giant dick. To impress Magpie
Codpiece- Well, I'm sorry, dicks don't grow that big. Not naturally. Look, I don't like wasting anyone's time. So take these. I was recommended them through a Pornhub ad.
Zodiac- Um. Thanks.
*Zodiac shoots Codpiece in the stomach*
Codpiece- Why?!
Zodiac- I'm sorry! I'm not used to people just giving me things!
--------------------------------
*The Gotham Royal Hotel. President Trump enters his room to discover Tiger Shark waiting for him*
Gaige- Donald Trump. We meet at last
Trump- Who the hell are you? Why do have a towel wrapped around your head?
Gaige- It's not a towel. And the name's Tiger Shark. Now, I'm asking you for help. Because I'm nice, generous and an all round decent guy, I'm going to give you the opportunity to decide for yourself. But here's what I want- Drury Walker to remain in office
Trump- Uh huh. Why shouldn't I send in a few of Gotham's fine, patriotic officers of the law in here to send you off to a nice comfy prison cell?
Gaige- Because then I will ensure that you will never see Melanie again
Trump- Who?
Gaige- ... Your wife...
Trump- Oh you mean Melania, darling Melania. She's great, just great. The greatest first lady this country has ever had, true fact. What were you saying?
Gaige- I'm saying I captured her
Trump- I have the best security in the world, nay the universe. Whole wide universe, can you imagine that? How could you do that?
Gaige- Well, I got a cardboard box, a ruler, a piece of string and an issue of Woman's Monthly
Trump- I don't believe you. You're a liar. I hate liars.
Gaige- Believe what you want but I encourage you to check your phone
*Trump grabs his phone. There is a video message. Melania is in the clutches of Electrocutioner and Cypher*
Melania- Trumpikins? Is that you Donnie?
Trump- It's me hot stuff.
Gaige- So now you know I'm not bluffing, I take it we have a deal
Trump- No.
Gaige- No?! I captured your wife! The First Fucking Lady!
Trump- And she'll be missed. Honestly, I'll miss her. But I think it's time to move on. I'm a handsome man. I'll find love again
Lester- Does this mean ve kill her?
Trump- Excuse me, you Russian dog, I'm talking. Mr Shark, I'm the kind of man who stands by his principles. Call me stubborn, call me cruel, I don't care. It's the only way to stop you ISIS scumbags
Gaige- I'm not from- Ok. Cypher? Plan B. See, I also have a hacker working to clear your bank accounts.
Trump- What did you want again?
Gaige- What I want is for you to keep Walker as Mayor, ok?
Trump- Fine. Why should I care?
Gaige- Because he killed a man. Nevermind, you said yes. Let's just move on
*Gaige opens the door to be met with several GCPD officers*
Gaige- Oh shit. This better work
GCPD #1- He's reaching for a backpack!
GCPD #2- Hands in the air
*Gaige presses a button on his backpack*
Trump- He's a bomber you fuckwits!
Gaige- Thank you Charlie
*The backpack expands into a kite*
Gaige- Hell yeah.
*Gaige soars out the window*