Intimacies: Sexy
So, what is "sexy"?
It's an idea that can comprehend a great many different things, obviously, and it will always mean something a little different to different people.
For me, though, the key ingredient to any "sexy" relationship -- and to "sex" most often in practice -- is intimacy. And by that I mean the awareness, one that colours and gives a bright glow around the edges to everything about your partner, that you have been invited to access things about them that no one else can.
Sometimes those things are physical and "sexy" in a self-evident way. I don't need to be treated to a performative strip tease to be made mind-blowingly aware that I've been granted access to my partner's body, for instance -- sometimes witnessing the simple act of him taking off a shirt before bedtime can leave me dizzy with excitement and wonder. "That's mine," I think. "And that's mine. And that. Oh, and that's definitely mine."
And sometimes the "sex" is in the act of quietly sharing a morning coffee, or folding clothes together, or in an uninhibited discussion about something. Sometimes, even the quality of an argument or fight can be sexy, because of its intimacy.
Intimacy makes the person I am with magical and special, but it's a gift in another sense, because it underlines how deeply and fundamentally they are connecting with me. It makes me special too.
Intimacy is the warm glow that embraces and illuminates. It makes everything about your connection . . . sexy.
Intimacies: Sexy
So, what is "sexy"?
It's an idea that can comprehend a great many different things, obviously, and it will always mean something a little different to different people.
For me, though, the key ingredient to any "sexy" relationship -- and to "sex" most often in practice -- is intimacy. And by that I mean the awareness, one that colours and gives a bright glow around the edges to everything about your partner, that you have been invited to access things about them that no one else can.
Sometimes those things are physical and "sexy" in a self-evident way. I don't need to be treated to a performative strip tease to be made mind-blowingly aware that I've been granted access to my partner's body, for instance -- sometimes witnessing the simple act of him taking off a shirt before bedtime can leave me dizzy with excitement and wonder. "That's mine," I think. "And that's mine. And that. Oh, and that's definitely mine."
And sometimes the "sex" is in the act of quietly sharing a morning coffee, or folding clothes together, or in an uninhibited discussion about something. Sometimes, even the quality of an argument or fight can be sexy, because of its intimacy.
Intimacy makes the person I am with magical and special, but it's a gift in another sense, because it underlines how deeply and fundamentally they are connecting with me. It makes me special too.
Intimacy is the warm glow that embraces and illuminates. It makes everything about your connection . . . sexy.