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'It's true. We all heard her say it. Mrs Clegg wants you to play her husband,' by edwin seppings

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'Wait,lads.I'm getting help on Facebook...light fuse...yes,we've done that ...now what do we do?' by edwin seppings

Sir.Not only are we encouraging our employees to lose weight we are achieving considerable savings in our electricity bills...' by edwin seppings

'Nurse.Another four tragic cases of dementia - NEXT' by edwin seppings

'Another headache?Y'know I reckon it might be something to do with this PVC flooring.' by edwin seppings

'No wonder there's no pulse,Blodwen.He's escaped to England!' by edwin seppings

'Does anyone know another politically correct word for "swamped"?' by edwin seppings

'Oh for heaven's sake,Donald.They're hoping to scare you' by edwin seppings

'Oh for heaver's sake,Donald. They are hoping to scare you!' by edwin seppings

Lighting the blue touchpaper by edwin seppings

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Ebola screening by edwin seppings

Dip into your pension pot when you like by edwin seppings

'It's going to be packed,Nigel's organised free crisps and pork scatchings.' by edwin seppings

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'He's undecided.Labour or Tory? Three pints later it's Ukip then, when he gets completely brain dead,it's Lib Dems.' by edwin seppings

'It started off off as a womb donation party,but some poor women had other aliments too...' by edwin seppings

'Mummy,Graham is here to do some secret surveillance,so don't say a word to your carers,' by edwin seppings

Ebola by edwin seppings

'Before I turn round - is that you, Ed?' by edwin seppings

Depression? I'll tell you what depression is-not being able to do what you want at the weekends,that's what... NEXT! by edwin seppings

'For heaven's sake,David.I'm only going to the gents!' by edwin seppings

'I should think so too - purring indeed!' by edwin seppings

'Proud little creatures,aren't they?They've dug a tunnel to Lidl' by edwin seppings

Home rule declared here! by edwin seppings

Banking by edwin seppings

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