Snark attack warning
In honor of April Fool’s Day I decided to tell a true story of an odd political event in the United States. You may have read that the State of Colorado passed a law to legalize marijuana, and because they wanted to keep Big Business out of it and make it difficult for major crime syndicates from profiting, the state requires pot shops to be small and for most of their products to be locally grown. Colorado also places a hefty tax on pot but not enough to drive the business underground where it couldn’t be regulated. This is very wise, but it is not the point of this story.
The satirical National Report posted a fake story entitled “Colorado Pot Shop Accepting Food Stamps – Taxpayer Funded Marijuana for Welfare Recipients.” For those not familiar, “food stamps” is the common name of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, an anti-poverty program that once issued stamps but now uses debit cards to enable poor people to buy food and a very limited amount of non-food items like toilet paper and cleaning supplies. I used the Texas Lone Star Card for a couple of very tough years in the 1990s. Another alarming story was the “Colorado Pot Shop Attempts To Disarm Citizens With ‘Weed for Guns’ Buyback Program.” Now there are some police departments that have “cash for guns” campaigns to help get guns off the street. These stories alarmed a Colorado state legislator known for her Right Wing Nut Job politics into submitting bills aimed at curbing these nonexistent commercial practices. Then she found out afterwards from her colleagues that the stories were fake. I read about this in the January 13, 2014 edition of The Daily Kos. See www.dailykos.com if you are a progressive. Here is my own fake news story.
Pregnant post-op transsexual women have been using food stamps to pay for abortions. According to the Texas Institute for Transsexual Support, “Most transsexual women under the age of 35 get pregnant within two years of their sex change operations because they usually work as prostitutes after they are fired from their jobs as IT administrators due to discrimination against LGBT people. You commonly see them on street corners or beneath freeway underpasses carrying signs that say, ‘I will work for food.’ They often get paid in food stamps for sex and get pregnant by their customers. Since they must maintain their trim figures to stay competitive in this business, transsexual women must get abortions and typically pay for them with food stamps. Due to the massive cutbacks in the Medicaid program, many Texas abortion clinics depend on food stamps from transsexuals to stay open.” There is a special provision in NAFTA that allows stem cells taken from aborted fetal tissue to be shipped to Mexico to be used in life extension drugs to keep aging oil billionaires alive.
"The problem with posting quotes off the Internet is you never know if they're genuine." -- Gen. George Washington at the Battle of Gettysburg, February 30, 1908
Snark attack warning
In honor of April Fool’s Day I decided to tell a true story of an odd political event in the United States. You may have read that the State of Colorado passed a law to legalize marijuana, and because they wanted to keep Big Business out of it and make it difficult for major crime syndicates from profiting, the state requires pot shops to be small and for most of their products to be locally grown. Colorado also places a hefty tax on pot but not enough to drive the business underground where it couldn’t be regulated. This is very wise, but it is not the point of this story.
The satirical National Report posted a fake story entitled “Colorado Pot Shop Accepting Food Stamps – Taxpayer Funded Marijuana for Welfare Recipients.” For those not familiar, “food stamps” is the common name of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, an anti-poverty program that once issued stamps but now uses debit cards to enable poor people to buy food and a very limited amount of non-food items like toilet paper and cleaning supplies. I used the Texas Lone Star Card for a couple of very tough years in the 1990s. Another alarming story was the “Colorado Pot Shop Attempts To Disarm Citizens With ‘Weed for Guns’ Buyback Program.” Now there are some police departments that have “cash for guns” campaigns to help get guns off the street. These stories alarmed a Colorado state legislator known for her Right Wing Nut Job politics into submitting bills aimed at curbing these nonexistent commercial practices. Then she found out afterwards from her colleagues that the stories were fake. I read about this in the January 13, 2014 edition of The Daily Kos. See www.dailykos.com if you are a progressive. Here is my own fake news story.
Pregnant post-op transsexual women have been using food stamps to pay for abortions. According to the Texas Institute for Transsexual Support, “Most transsexual women under the age of 35 get pregnant within two years of their sex change operations because they usually work as prostitutes after they are fired from their jobs as IT administrators due to discrimination against LGBT people. You commonly see them on street corners or beneath freeway underpasses carrying signs that say, ‘I will work for food.’ They often get paid in food stamps for sex and get pregnant by their customers. Since they must maintain their trim figures to stay competitive in this business, transsexual women must get abortions and typically pay for them with food stamps. Due to the massive cutbacks in the Medicaid program, many Texas abortion clinics depend on food stamps from transsexuals to stay open.” There is a special provision in NAFTA that allows stem cells taken from aborted fetal tissue to be shipped to Mexico to be used in life extension drugs to keep aging oil billionaires alive.
"The problem with posting quotes off the Internet is you never know if they're genuine." -- Gen. George Washington at the Battle of Gettysburg, February 30, 1908