Pit Stop

🙈Caution, this reportage contains scenes

some people may find disturbing😱😁

 

During this time of lockdown the village has adapted and is holding the infamous Friday night pub quiz using Skype. However some of the members do find it challenging not being able to physically throw beer over each other.🍻🍻🍻

 

Now dear Mrs Beswetherick has been appointed quiz master and head of communications, not an easy role you must appreciate, tell me have any of you seen positions like this advertised in the situations vacant column of The Telegraph.📰

 

Following Friday nights quiz, Mrs Beswetherick thought ! she had shut down the Skype system, but unbeknown to her it was still live and one or two of the members slightly worse for wear, started to recall a story from last summer, who should be listening, none other than our Hoof who recalled the following reportage of the conversation.😜🐎

 

Evidently Mrs Rosewarne contacted Tizzy Talskiddy, who is the Honorary Secretary of the village bee keeping club, and Nancy Nancarrow who does a bit of glass blowing on the side. I should add these ladies do have form and could well be featuring in forthcoming reportage.💃💃💃🐝🐝🐝🍹🍹🍹

 

As it was a lovely day, Mrs Rosewarne suggested they have a day out in Marazion.

Tizzy and Nancy were well up for this. Mrs Rosewarne got her Reliant Robin Cabriolet out of the garage, what could possibly go wrong.🌞🚗

 

These ladies are so thoughtful and caring, Tizzy said she would organise the contents of her special hip flask, while Nancy would make a picnic hamper, with the emphasis on products that could stimulate botty coughing for entertainment purposes later in the day.🍹🍸🍷🍟🍎🍒🍕🍰🍰🍰💨💨💨

 

Mrs Rosewarne filled the Reliant Robin with some high octane fuel which she had made from the by-products of her homemade sloe gin, kicked the tyres to check the pressures were okay, and finally topped up the radiator with water. As we know older cars with aluminium cylinder heads can be slightly prone to overheating.⛽️🚰💧

 

With all the ladies on board off they went on their jolly, after about thirty miles ‘nee-nah’, ‘nee-nah’ they were pulled over by the police. An officer approached Mrs Rosewarne and enquired “did you realise your husband fell out of your car some ten miles back” Mrs Rosewarne responded, thank goodness for that I thought my hearing had gone.🚓👮♂️

 

Following a lovely afternoon sightseeing on St Michael’s Mount, the three ladies consumed their picnic on the beach in Mounts Bay, and topped this off with a few swift drinks in The Kings Arms at Marazion, obviously dear Mrs Rosewarne did not have a drink as she was driving.⛰🍕🍰🍎🍷

 

As darkness was falling our ladies felt it was time to head back towards the village. Well Mrs Rosewarne had only driven about 25 miles and the alcohol was having a bit of an affect on Tizzy and Nancy, they needed a pit stop, you know a comfort break. As it was dark Mrs Rosewarne pulled off the A30 into a gateway, I will leave the rest to your imagination.🌒😌😌

 

With the ladies suitably relieved they resumed the journey back home. They had not gone more than a couple of miles up the road and the car started to act up, Mrs Rosewarne who has experience of testing formula one racing cars knew something was wrong. Just as she was pulling over to assess the problem the car cut out, so she freewheeled it into a place of safety. (Or was it three wheeled it)

 

Mrs Rosewarne knows the difference between a big end and a piston ring, she had the bonnet up and found that the radiator was completely empty.😱🔧🔨

 

Here they were in the middle of nowhere, it was dark and miles from home, Mrs Rosewarne felt a huge sense of responsibility to Tizzy and Nancy, so calling on all of her engineering skills she came up with a plan on how to refill the radiator with water.🤔

 

She found a bucket in the boot of the Reliant Robin and said to Tizzy and Nancy, “now then ladies, if we can each pass a little water into the bucket, the radiator can be refilled and we will get home”.🛀💧💧💧

 

So Tizzy squat over the bucket, yes she had rearranged her Adam and the ants, you know what I am trying to say, well she squeezed and squeezed nothing, not a drop. Then Nancy strode purposely forward, thrust her breeches over her head, got down and squeezed and squeezed, nothing, you see Tizzy and Nancy had only just frequented a gateway a couple of miles back the road.🙈🙈

 

Step forward Mrs Rosewarne, she threw her great big old dress over her head, squat down and had a go, nothing. Mindful of getting the ladies home, Mrs Roseworne had another go.🙈

 

She lined herself up over the bucket, squeezed and squeezed, her face went red, even the veins in her neck were sticking out, then with one last huge try, she broke wind, Tizzy and Nancy p*ss*d themselves laughing.

 

Thank you so much for looking at my photos, the comments and banter you leave are so appreciated. Take care, stay safe and remain positive.

🍺🍺🍺🍷🍷🍷🐎🐷💃😎😂😂😂

 

Done