Stewards Enquiry

As the ladies from the WI are strictly following the rules to stay at home during these abnormal times, they have been holding their meetings via a video online conferencing system which Hoof and Horace had designed and installed a few weeks back.

The first item on the agenda to be debated ’shock horror’ evidence had come to light of cheating at the recent botty coughing competition, which as you will all remember was held on the green outside the church hall back in January.

Reportage of the competition had been covered in detail during the upload of my shot ‘Let It Go’ 📡 😱https://www.flickr.com/photos/137633664@N05/49438540241/in/dateposted-public/

 

 

Clarrisa Penpillick who organised the botty coughing competition has been studying data recorded on the day.

She was acting on information picked up by sensors located around the church hall which had recorded, wind speeds, clarity, depth of tone, ferocity of each botty cough, plus the oder factor, we are not talking Coco Chanel, more an essence of Vindaloo.📘📕📖

 

These findings did indeed show discrepancies of the botty coughs let go by the winner Mrs Trebillcock compared to the rest of the contestants, especially the rate at which she could repeat each performance.💪💨💨💨

 

Another source of information were the audience who witnessed this cheeky event, especially Jago Nancarrow who had a ring side seat, and had recently retired as a lecturer at the institute of botty coughing who was of the opinion that Mrs Trebillcock could break wind faster than the speed of sound, he based this on the fact that he could smell it before he heard it.🚀

 

Therefore the committee needed to ask the question had Mrs Trebillcock taken a performance enhancing substance, or had she been born with some form of biological advantage, as an example being double jointed in her nether regions, not a pretty sight.

 

Mrs Trebillcock was duly summoned to appear on camera and confessed to the committee that during a training session in the build up to the botty coughing competition she had been showing off in front of Mrs Trebogus and had lit some of her botty coughs much to both of their amusement. However they had not carried out a risk assessment and subsequently Mrs Trebillcock suffered a blow back, which in turn had wrecked her passage, no you lot, the one leading to the hallway in her property.💨💨🔥🔥

 

After the fire brigade had extracted Mrs Trebillcock from her hallway, (Mrs T likes a man in uniform) she was taken for a check, or was it a cheek over at Madeleine Bokiddicks house.

Madeleine had recently retired from her job as a blacksmith and set up a little business of cosmetic enhancement for the discerning lady.🚒💦💦

 

Following an examination of Mrs Trebillcock’s undercarriage, Madeleine explained that she would require a procedure in the area that had been affected during the stunt which had amused Mrs Trebogus.

Mrs Trebillcock was very happy to proceed with this recommendation. 👵

 

Following the procedure Mrs Trebillcock found that she had this amazing ability to let go some supersonic botty coughs. Secretly she was quite chuffed with this new found party piece, however she felt the reasoning should be explained🎉🎉.💨💨

 

She phoned Madeleine, now bear in mind Mrs T is a bit Mutton Jeff (deaf) Madeline explained that due to flash over damage, the procedure had required the enhancement of some of your buttocks, Mrs T responded “I thought you said this procedure would require Botox”☎️

 

Thank you so much for viewing my photos in these abnormal times which we are all in together. Your comments and banter are so appreciated, keep smiling we will get through this provided we follow the official advise, stay home.

 

Take care🍺🍺🍺🍷🍷🍷👍😎🐎🐷😂😂😂

 

 

 

Done