Parish Records

Following their routine 30 mile morning run, Hoof and Horace settle down for their pre breakfast drinks, “red for you Hoof and you Horace, no need to ask Mrs P”💃🐎🐷🏃♂️🏃♂️

 

Suddenly the telephone bust into life, who could it be as most people are normally drinking wine at this time of the morning. Hoof answered and it was Mrs Penberthey “could Horace please look after her Jack Russell Nipper again”.

This is becoming quite a regular occurrence, not that we mind but it is one more to provide wine for.☎️🐶🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

 

Mrs Penberthey did apologise profusely, she had forgotten about her training session in the local gym. Oh yes Mrs Penberthey is the West of England left handed arm wrestling champion in the light weight division and needs to keep herself in the peak of condition, don’t mess with this lady👹💪💪🏆

 

With the boys fully refreshed following their breakfast, H & H felt it would be nice to pop round and check on Mrs Trebogus, well you know after the incident with the naughty vacuum cleaner so to speak.

With Nipper on his skate board off the three of them went, with a bottle of course, as it is bad manners to turn up at someones house empty handed. (It’s more a tradition here in the village)🐶🐎🐷🍷🍷🍷

 

As you can imagine Mrs T was delighted to see Hoof, Horace and Nipper, plus as luck would have it, Trixie Trebillcock (Mrs T’s sister) was sat at the dinning room table with an empty glass, this was indeed good timing.💃💃🍷😁

 

For those of you that don’t know, Trixie is on the church council and it just so happened she had been going through the parish records and noticed that Daisy, the Friesian cow who had traveled to the International Space Station with H & H recently had not been baptised.📘📕📘

 

Immediately Horace saw a logistical issue, “how on earth is the vicar going to get Daisy in the font in order to wet her head”.🐮💦💦💧

 

Hoof being the brains of the outfit said “lets go on eBay and see if anyone is selling a large inflatable swimming pool. We could walk daisy up some steps and she could dive in.

Nipper piped up and said “yea right who is going to blow the thing up, think how big it will need to be too accommodate Daisy”. 💨💨💨

 

Horace had one of his light bulb moments (make the most of this) and said “I read in the Farmers Weekly magazine recently that cows, how do we put this, produce a lot of methane gas.📖🐷💨

 

Horace went onto say “how about if we machined a special adapter and delicately fitted it to the trumpeting end of Daisey’s body, we could then contain the methane and pump it straight into the inflatable pool, via the vacuum cleaner hose that Mrs Trebogus had surgically removed from her derrière during ‘the incident.’

Horace also felt the methane would have the potential to warm the water as well, so job sorted.🔥💦💨

 

Have you seen a friesian cow baptised, it could only happen in the village, 💦💦🐄💨💨

 

 

I will leave you with this thought for the weekend.

How did the farmer find his lost cow, he tractor down.

 

Thank you so much for viewing my photos, the comments and banter you leave are so much appreciated, take care🍺🍺🍺🍷🍷🍷💃🐎🐷🐄🐶😎😂😂😂

 

 

Done