WE ARE INFINITE ...

“And I write poetry on anything that comes to hand .., pink paper with yellow lines all creased and crumpled and slightly torn; brown paper bags that once contained Shiitake mushrooms for a soup; my favourite dark chocolate with sea salt cardboard wrappers and empty envelopes with stamps from far-off places where I will never go or never go again. Poets write on anything that comes to hand.

And I know the anxiety of being a wallflower

and I know all the perks.

And I know all the jerks that passed me by

or those that tried to prise me from the wall.

And I know what the cold is like

when I'm on the outside looking in.

And I know who will be there to catch me when I fall.

And I know what it's like to be a lost soul

wandering alone in the Universe.

And I know what it's like to find a friendship

that fills up all the gaps in me;

completes me like nothing else could ever do.

And I know what it's like to lose myself when I lost you

and the Universe imploded in on me.

And I know what it's like to miss you every day to Infinity and Beyond … simply é …

And I know more much more ...” - AP

 

Soundtrack : www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK7vrLY1dto

Lights & Motion ~ "We Are Infinite"

 

CIPRIAN …

 

Eyes so brown with flecks of yellow

nutbrown struck by sunlight

walk through fields of Springtime meadows

wildflowers swaying in delight

arm in arm and minds on nothing

living dreams that lift our souls

stop to eat when we get hungry

sip mushroom soup from chipped and yellowed melamine bowls

exchanging glances shyly hesitant

small smiles turned up at the corners

I did not know this was goodbye

that I would be an absentee among the mourners

how many years has it been now

it feels like only yesterday

still I think I'll one day see you

when the rain storms come and slant my way

I left the crucifix to dangle

to keep me safe on the less-travelled road

I think of that small clip from that film I did not show here

that one entwined within our code

we talked in shorthand when we spoke

or with a smile or with our eyes

the friendship rose and fell again

then rose again just like the sunrise

some things may always be left unspoken

sometimes words are not enough

but we knew that friendship lasts

beyond infinity although it's tough

I still read your poetry

still read between those beautiful lines

and browse through your photography

so much deleted those words of mine

but not your fault but deep within me

was something broken and you could see

and though I did not realise it back then

you protected me from knowing your destiny

I can thank you for many reasons

for being there throughout my trials

a rock a guiding hand held out through all four seasons

remembering your beautiful smiles

to feel the love you had for life

still tangible though you are gone

I can feel you close beside me

whenever I need to be more strong

I rarely met anyone else like you

whose aura was so bright

you saw behind my eyes of blue

to the sorrow that denied my light

you never gave up on me I know

you wanted me to know what life is for

I try to remember all you taught me

I miss you always and simply more …

 

- AP - Copyright © remains with and is the intellectual property of the author

 

Copyright © protected image please do not reproduce without permission

 

Dedicated to my beloved friend, Ciprian

A poet and the most beautiful human being you could ever wish to meet. To know him was to love him and when he passed he left the biggest hole in the Universe. I don't think I shall ever see his like again in this incarnation anyway …

 

Two long years and I still miss you though you are everywhere

In the rain and in the yellow

To Infinity and beyond … simply é …

 

Iubirea mea pentru tine nu va muri niciodata

 

We spoke mostly in French, but I did try to speak Romanian sometimes and he would smile indulgently. He recognised the child-like innocence in me that wants everyone and everything to be alright. He encouraged me in my writing and indulged my childish tantrums because he knew that like all things they would pass and he knew the reasons for them and accepted my brokeness because it is part of who I am. That was Ciprian … all-accepting; never just loving one small part of me, but embracing all of me with all the frailties and complexities within my nature. Oh, and one more thing, he loved cats and I would have loved him just for that ; 0) There are many different kinds of love. Our love was pure. The love borne of friendship and shared love of poetry and our minds always questioning everything.

 

I send my love and respect to dear Ciprian's wife who made his life so very happy. She was the love of his life and he of hers. If I feel the loss of my friend so deeply I can only imagine how hard it is for her to bear. My heart goes out to her on this day, the second anniversary of his passing.

Done