WHAT THE FUGUE!

This is the nearest visual and audible representation I can produce, with my fairly limited technical know-how, to show how I feel the world and the daily struggle within myself to survive in a world that is both beautiful and at the same time profound; the confusion I feel when I struggle to understand where I fit into the world and if I ever really will.

 

This cover of a beautiful song, Just When I Needed You Most, I had never heard before when it was suggested to me, by my friend, Dave, who truly understands what it is to be me. Thanks Mate! : 0)

 

“I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.”

 

― Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

 

LET ME ...

 

LET ME give you a piece of my mind

meander through my neural pathways

LET ME offer you the peace I find

when the outer turmoil fades away

and I can hear my thoughts aloud

a million things that I must do to

drown out the infernal madding crowd

and let the signs and creative process through

LET my eyes glaze over like ice upon a lake

LET the snows and mists descend

don't come near or I will break

my tears a waterfall, my friend

LET ME stand quietly by the door

gazing through the fugue of time

parallel lines bend; fall to the floor

and suffocate me in this paradigm

this is a typical day for ME

and it continues; invades my dreams and then

the darkness falls like a dying tree

crashing through my world again

some days in a lucid moment I

see clearest after the rain has stopped and

pale yellow sunshine dapples softly as a sigh

while the sweet breeze of change whispers and ...

 

… gently reaches out to touch my hand.

 

LET ME be free to be who I am

because that is enough struggle for ME

I cannot be someone stuck in a traffic jam

what does that taste like; it feels like I am all at sea

LET ME taste the sweets of living

without the bitter fruits of despair

Friday's child is loving and giving

if you love me LET ME be there

when I can find the time is right

for ME to be the best I can

time for me is different and flight

or fight reminds me of the Bogeyman

that feeling as a helpless child

wide-eyed and trying to figure so many things out

things beyond me; beyond all reason and filed

under the heading of 'What was that all about!'

I think the best of everyone, you see

though I am in constant doubt

about what on earth is the point of ME

I feel too much; my thoughts are endless

the world and it's problems magnify

and I am left bereft and breathless

knowing there is too much to rectify

so I see a bird and I fly away

I see the sky and cloud-watch and dream

the fog becomes thicker and I run away

caught in the headlights powered only by my own steam

but what if the steam dissipates

and I am left drained and bewildered, like you

I will still see the world as a beautiful place

even when the chaos continues and my head is all askew.

 

- AP - Copyright © remains with and is the intellectual property of the author

 

Copyright © protected images please do not reproduce without permission

 

Thanks for visiting. I am very grateful for the very kind comments and faves.

 

Enjoy a very happy weekend, dear friends <3

 

 

 

Done