MY ANGEL FOR TODAY IS FREEDOM
“Imagination is the parallel universe of a writer. If he is not responding to you in this world, he is probably responding to someone in the imaginary world.”
― Heenashree Khandelwal
Soundtrack : www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbjZPFBD6JU
COME AWAY WITH ME – NORAH JONES
For so long I felt
like a passenger within my own existence
MIND THE GAP
too easy to slip between the platform and the track
STEP BACK
I saw myself as others do
in the mirror; stuck like glue
sometimes the world seems mad to me
I cannot decipher reality
with virtuality offering me
an alternative way of life
and yet it still brings strife
STAND BACK
and view myself from a distance
the mirror is hazy or my eye is lazy
idle thoughts; internal chatter
hardly real; none of it matters
what ifs … just like sliding doors
am I asleep; am I no more
if only I'd been present when
the little hand was close to ten
instead of which it chose to slow
in jerky movements; cold as snow
the second hand passed by too often
out of sync; real time forgotten
but what is real time; what do we know
we tell ourselves it's time to go
STOP THE CLOCK
let me see …
life is but a mystery
a game of chance; serendipity
a roll of dice; simplicity
yet still I complicate it
still I feel that I don't fit
the more I try; the more I fall
misunderstood and feeling small
insignificant; circumspect
afraid of what; of what comes next
indecision; I'm rigid and still
imprisons me; tinnitus shrill
whistling loud like a runaway train
I long for oblivion; an end to pain
regain perspective; hard to do
I'm caught between; can't see it through
the way is shadowy; the figures like sticks
a humungous wall of solid bricks
a fortress; insurmountable
I hit my head against the wall
I am me; nobody's fool
and yet I bleed and still I fall
my angel for today is FREEDOM
but I am two days late
if only I'd known; if only the clock
had awakened me from my dream-like state
I left but did anybody notice
I am good with numbers; I can tell you now
only two who missed my presence
who recognised the loss somehow
thrashing madly; shallow water
even now I'm drowning
like a fish I know my depths
and out of water I am floundering
haunted moments; sacred ghosts
of past and present and future
hang in the air; they silence me
with whispers hushed they tighten my sutures
HANG UP
my boots are done with walking
two steps forward; one step back
RISE UP
my voice is tired of talking
of the things my body lacks
poetry is my voice for now
it is cathartic; it is profound
for me and anyone else who sees
what it's like drowning in this sea
the depths I sink
in darkness; silence
a time to think
and find my way
FLATLINE
I have bottomed out
too weak to fight;
too weak to shout
but there is nothing left to do
endure the silence
bear the pain
until the answers find a way
to bring a rainbow after rain
STAY DOWN
there's nothing wrong with that
STAY QUIET
keep thoughts beneath my hat
STAY SILENT
let the reasons flow
let me decide
let me go
then I'll come back
I'll let you know
how I feel about this world
how I feel about this other
when the sliding doors unstick
and move again on well-oiled rails
no longer gnawing; feeling sick
so I can choose to free myself
apply the logic that seldom fails
but just for now it proves elusive
and I am overwhelmed
too sensitive; my shell is cracking
there's something in me; something lacking
need time to figure out a way
where I can live in peace on here
and still feel peace within my world
a compromise; new understanding
a longing for strong sense of self
where did I go; how long gone
time stood still and swallowed me
preserved in amber; cannot clamber
out of this mire; this soliloquoy
where my words fall on deaf ears
except for the treasured few
I see you; love you; I am thankful
you see me and I see you.
- AP - Copyright © remains with and is the intellectual property of the author
Copyright © protected image please do not reproduce without permission
My artwork is a negative of one of my photographs
MY ANGEL FOR TODAY IS FREEDOM
“Imagination is the parallel universe of a writer. If he is not responding to you in this world, he is probably responding to someone in the imaginary world.”
― Heenashree Khandelwal
Soundtrack : www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbjZPFBD6JU
COME AWAY WITH ME – NORAH JONES
For so long I felt
like a passenger within my own existence
MIND THE GAP
too easy to slip between the platform and the track
STEP BACK
I saw myself as others do
in the mirror; stuck like glue
sometimes the world seems mad to me
I cannot decipher reality
with virtuality offering me
an alternative way of life
and yet it still brings strife
STAND BACK
and view myself from a distance
the mirror is hazy or my eye is lazy
idle thoughts; internal chatter
hardly real; none of it matters
what ifs … just like sliding doors
am I asleep; am I no more
if only I'd been present when
the little hand was close to ten
instead of which it chose to slow
in jerky movements; cold as snow
the second hand passed by too often
out of sync; real time forgotten
but what is real time; what do we know
we tell ourselves it's time to go
STOP THE CLOCK
let me see …
life is but a mystery
a game of chance; serendipity
a roll of dice; simplicity
yet still I complicate it
still I feel that I don't fit
the more I try; the more I fall
misunderstood and feeling small
insignificant; circumspect
afraid of what; of what comes next
indecision; I'm rigid and still
imprisons me; tinnitus shrill
whistling loud like a runaway train
I long for oblivion; an end to pain
regain perspective; hard to do
I'm caught between; can't see it through
the way is shadowy; the figures like sticks
a humungous wall of solid bricks
a fortress; insurmountable
I hit my head against the wall
I am me; nobody's fool
and yet I bleed and still I fall
my angel for today is FREEDOM
but I am two days late
if only I'd known; if only the clock
had awakened me from my dream-like state
I left but did anybody notice
I am good with numbers; I can tell you now
only two who missed my presence
who recognised the loss somehow
thrashing madly; shallow water
even now I'm drowning
like a fish I know my depths
and out of water I am floundering
haunted moments; sacred ghosts
of past and present and future
hang in the air; they silence me
with whispers hushed they tighten my sutures
HANG UP
my boots are done with walking
two steps forward; one step back
RISE UP
my voice is tired of talking
of the things my body lacks
poetry is my voice for now
it is cathartic; it is profound
for me and anyone else who sees
what it's like drowning in this sea
the depths I sink
in darkness; silence
a time to think
and find my way
FLATLINE
I have bottomed out
too weak to fight;
too weak to shout
but there is nothing left to do
endure the silence
bear the pain
until the answers find a way
to bring a rainbow after rain
STAY DOWN
there's nothing wrong with that
STAY QUIET
keep thoughts beneath my hat
STAY SILENT
let the reasons flow
let me decide
let me go
then I'll come back
I'll let you know
how I feel about this world
how I feel about this other
when the sliding doors unstick
and move again on well-oiled rails
no longer gnawing; feeling sick
so I can choose to free myself
apply the logic that seldom fails
but just for now it proves elusive
and I am overwhelmed
too sensitive; my shell is cracking
there's something in me; something lacking
need time to figure out a way
where I can live in peace on here
and still feel peace within my world
a compromise; new understanding
a longing for strong sense of self
where did I go; how long gone
time stood still and swallowed me
preserved in amber; cannot clamber
out of this mire; this soliloquoy
where my words fall on deaf ears
except for the treasured few
I see you; love you; I am thankful
you see me and I see you.
- AP - Copyright © remains with and is the intellectual property of the author
Copyright © protected image please do not reproduce without permission
My artwork is a negative of one of my photographs