Live life off leash
Interview with Halfbark Clancy
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"Good afternoon, and welcome to Canadian Football Report, I'm Hup Twothree, and we're here in Redblacks Lounge at TD Place Stadium in Landsdowne Park, home of the CFL Ottawa Redblacks, to speak with Redblacks' rookie running sensation Halfbark Clancy (Padded-Pants) Donnelly, who carries his team into Toronto this Sunday to take on the Calgary Stampeders in the 104th Grey Cup game. How are you feeling, Halfbark?"
Rough.
"Rough, indeed. Now Halfbark, you are unquestionably the swiftest and most agile running back the CFL has ever seen, but though you amassed 17,284 yards and 439 touchdowns in this, your first year as a pro, you also fumbled 221 times. How do you account for this?"
Ever try running with a football in your mouth?
"Once, after an interview gone horribly wrong."
Besides, I recovered every fumble.
"So you did. I, on the other hand, have yet to recover. Tell me, all that yardage must take a toll on you physically. At only 2 feet 4 inches and 54 pounds, do you worry about injury?"
No. I've never been tackled.
"Halfbark, fumbling is not the only controversy surrounding you. Some of your teammates have complained that you bark at them often, have questionable bathroom habits, dig dangerous holes in the practise field, crawl into bed with them in the middle of the night on road games, and steal food off their plates during team meals--even biting one who was reaching for the salt. How do you respond to these allegations?"
He was going for my burger!
"Burger, indeed. Let me ask you about opposition fans' tendencies to throw tennis balls onto the field during play to distract you. How will you handle this on Sunday?"
Coach has fitted me with a shock collar.
"Ah, Head Coach Rick Campbell, yes, who says your yapping at opponents gets you in penalty trouble. How will you--"
Shock collar.
"Shock, indeed. Halfbark, you turned four recently and have two, maybe three years left in your career. Do you feel extra pressure to win this Grey Cup in case you don't get another chance?"
No. I don't think beyond game day. Literally.
"And finally, what is the game plan this Sunday for winning Ottawa's first Grey Cup in 40 years?"
Win Ottawa's first Grey Cup in 40 years.
"Thanks for your time, Halfbark Clancy."
Sure. Now, where's that treat?
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251. Clancy, 4yrs 1wk
Clancy's YEARBOOK 5: www.flickr.com/photos/130722340@N04/albums/72157675110790161
EXPLORE Clancy: www.flickr.com/photos/130722340@N04/albums/72157656171825332
Interview with Halfbark Clancy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Good afternoon, and welcome to Canadian Football Report, I'm Hup Twothree, and we're here in Redblacks Lounge at TD Place Stadium in Landsdowne Park, home of the CFL Ottawa Redblacks, to speak with Redblacks' rookie running sensation Halfbark Clancy (Padded-Pants) Donnelly, who carries his team into Toronto this Sunday to take on the Calgary Stampeders in the 104th Grey Cup game. How are you feeling, Halfbark?"
Rough.
"Rough, indeed. Now Halfbark, you are unquestionably the swiftest and most agile running back the CFL has ever seen, but though you amassed 17,284 yards and 439 touchdowns in this, your first year as a pro, you also fumbled 221 times. How do you account for this?"
Ever try running with a football in your mouth?
"Once, after an interview gone horribly wrong."
Besides, I recovered every fumble.
"So you did. I, on the other hand, have yet to recover. Tell me, all that yardage must take a toll on you physically. At only 2 feet 4 inches and 54 pounds, do you worry about injury?"
No. I've never been tackled.
"Halfbark, fumbling is not the only controversy surrounding you. Some of your teammates have complained that you bark at them often, have questionable bathroom habits, dig dangerous holes in the practise field, crawl into bed with them in the middle of the night on road games, and steal food off their plates during team meals--even biting one who was reaching for the salt. How do you respond to these allegations?"
He was going for my burger!
"Burger, indeed. Let me ask you about opposition fans' tendencies to throw tennis balls onto the field during play to distract you. How will you handle this on Sunday?"
Coach has fitted me with a shock collar.
"Ah, Head Coach Rick Campbell, yes, who says your yapping at opponents gets you in penalty trouble. How will you--"
Shock collar.
"Shock, indeed. Halfbark, you turned four recently and have two, maybe three years left in your career. Do you feel extra pressure to win this Grey Cup in case you don't get another chance?"
No. I don't think beyond game day. Literally.
"And finally, what is the game plan this Sunday for winning Ottawa's first Grey Cup in 40 years?"
Win Ottawa's first Grey Cup in 40 years.
"Thanks for your time, Halfbark Clancy."
Sure. Now, where's that treat?
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251. Clancy, 4yrs 1wk
Clancy's YEARBOOK 5: www.flickr.com/photos/130722340@N04/albums/72157675110790161
EXPLORE Clancy: www.flickr.com/photos/130722340@N04/albums/72157656171825332