Meme Doc P.H.D
Artemis Fowl: A Review
*This post is not sponsored by anything*
So my exams just finished off yesterday and I decided take some time off, slacking with a freer schedule now that I can write more and binge on shows or movies I’ve decided to catch on. I started rewatching Avatar: The Last Airbender (show of course) and stopped because I was interested to see how Artemis Fowl was.
It turns out I looked up the reviews which blatantly blasts this film; a very terrible adaptation. Yes, it’s f**king terrible. Penguinz0/Charlie was right about that, Screenrant’s Ryan George does his pitch meetings on this film which is wholly lot better than seeing this garbage.
Theme: For 1 hour and 30 minutes, I’ve been subjected to what I can only sum up in a couple words: Spy Kids + Mission Impossible meets fairies + some generic sci fi action film + MCU’s formula + Doctor Strange. They shouldn’t have ever made this film. What’s worse is that Kenneth Branagh directed this film, who’s best known for his film works on Shakespeare, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, Hercule Poirot and etc.
Plot/characters: I remember reading Eoin Colfer’s books in third grade (just the first two I can recount), which also came out the year I was born. The characterizations are off, and descriptions and personalities as well. Story is changed a whole lot (but why?) Artemis himself is a complete opposite of the character in this film compared to the book. Butler (Nonso Anozie), who was supposed to be Russian-Japanese/Eursian, is black, his younger sister is rewritten into his niece who does absolutely nothing. Holly Short, the fairy deutargonist, is also given with an unnecessary new backstory. Too much exposition and narration with Josh Gad’s dwarf character, Mulch Diggums, doesn’t work too well as overly comedic relief. I feel like if I continue with characters here, I’ll lose my sanity. I’ll go read the books again, and so should you.
Other things: Visuals are fine. There’s just nothing too special about it. Lots of things were cut from this film, you don’t see much of the footage from the first trailer. Villain appears at the last minute, who I just found out is the actress, Hong Chau. who plays Lady Trieu from HBO’s Watchmen. There’s a scene that echoes BvS’ Martha scene. I’ll spoil this bit, but when Artemis captures Holly (fairy), she’s mad at him, then a few scenes later they talk about their dads and they become friends. That’s literally how it goes. Very inconsistent.
Final verdict: Terrible story, mediocre acting. I legit cannot believe Colin Farrell is wasted in this film with barely minutes of screen time. Judi Dench is on record for another terrible film…only slightly better than Cats, trying her best at playing authoritative figure roles like M and whatnot. Feel bad for Artemis actor, since it’s this kid’s first major acting role. A film that costs about 125 million to make only ends up just..terrible.
(P.S. Another film to join the ranks of similar films that are best unspoken of: Dragonball Evolution, Avatar: The Last Airbender and Percy Jackson. All this happened a decade ago, but Peter Johnson is enjoyable to watch if you don’t consider that moniker. That’s all I gotta say while looking towards the D+ and Netflix reboots).
Score: 3/10. D Grade. Not really a rant but I could have gone on longer trying to make it a piece. I’m going to write Mayfair now. Have a good day.
Artemis Fowl: A Review
*This post is not sponsored by anything*
So my exams just finished off yesterday and I decided take some time off, slacking with a freer schedule now that I can write more and binge on shows or movies I’ve decided to catch on. I started rewatching Avatar: The Last Airbender (show of course) and stopped because I was interested to see how Artemis Fowl was.
It turns out I looked up the reviews which blatantly blasts this film; a very terrible adaptation. Yes, it’s f**king terrible. Penguinz0/Charlie was right about that, Screenrant’s Ryan George does his pitch meetings on this film which is wholly lot better than seeing this garbage.
Theme: For 1 hour and 30 minutes, I’ve been subjected to what I can only sum up in a couple words: Spy Kids + Mission Impossible meets fairies + some generic sci fi action film + MCU’s formula + Doctor Strange. They shouldn’t have ever made this film. What’s worse is that Kenneth Branagh directed this film, who’s best known for his film works on Shakespeare, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, Hercule Poirot and etc.
Plot/characters: I remember reading Eoin Colfer’s books in third grade (just the first two I can recount), which also came out the year I was born. The characterizations are off, and descriptions and personalities as well. Story is changed a whole lot (but why?) Artemis himself is a complete opposite of the character in this film compared to the book. Butler (Nonso Anozie), who was supposed to be Russian-Japanese/Eursian, is black, his younger sister is rewritten into his niece who does absolutely nothing. Holly Short, the fairy deutargonist, is also given with an unnecessary new backstory. Too much exposition and narration with Josh Gad’s dwarf character, Mulch Diggums, doesn’t work too well as overly comedic relief. I feel like if I continue with characters here, I’ll lose my sanity. I’ll go read the books again, and so should you.
Other things: Visuals are fine. There’s just nothing too special about it. Lots of things were cut from this film, you don’t see much of the footage from the first trailer. Villain appears at the last minute, who I just found out is the actress, Hong Chau. who plays Lady Trieu from HBO’s Watchmen. There’s a scene that echoes BvS’ Martha scene. I’ll spoil this bit, but when Artemis captures Holly (fairy), she’s mad at him, then a few scenes later they talk about their dads and they become friends. That’s literally how it goes. Very inconsistent.
Final verdict: Terrible story, mediocre acting. I legit cannot believe Colin Farrell is wasted in this film with barely minutes of screen time. Judi Dench is on record for another terrible film…only slightly better than Cats, trying her best at playing authoritative figure roles like M and whatnot. Feel bad for Artemis actor, since it’s this kid’s first major acting role. A film that costs about 125 million to make only ends up just..terrible.
(P.S. Another film to join the ranks of similar films that are best unspoken of: Dragonball Evolution, Avatar: The Last Airbender and Percy Jackson. All this happened a decade ago, but Peter Johnson is enjoyable to watch if you don’t consider that moniker. That’s all I gotta say while looking towards the D+ and Netflix reboots).
Score: 3/10. D Grade. Not really a rant but I could have gone on longer trying to make it a piece. I’m going to write Mayfair now. Have a good day.