Be still my bleeding heart…

 

Bleeding Heart, Clerodendrum thomsoniae, or Losbaum (Losbäume) in other parts of the word..

 

They're quite different from the ones by the same common name in the northern hemisphere, aren't they?

 

www.theflowerexpert.com/content/aboutflowers/tropicalflow...

 

Oh, these tiny beauties are So hard to photograph!

 

It's like 'getting blood out of a stone'….except at least a stone would sit still!

 

Apart from my garden constantly waving around in the ever-present breeze or wind…and I wait… and wait…for a second of stillness, most of my pics are straight from the camera ( or SOOC, as dear FlickrPal Derek calls it), and I take them hand held because after going to the effort of setting up the tripod, I don't get the angle I want…

 

I think for this one, I was getting so frustratedly determined that I rested the camera on part of the washing basket trolley..

 

Always run outside on a dull overcast day for these, as the reds come out all flat otherwise…

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

This one's for my Mum today.

 

Last night I was looking through all my photos, deleting more unwanted pics, and attempting to copy older ones onto a USB stick and a DVD+RW, to loosen up some space in my computer.

 

And there they were…. so many of Mum…Birthdays, Christmases, outings, picnics…like yesterday..and yet so far away..

 

I don't miss the frustration and exhaustion of all those years of commitment, but there's still a gaping whole in my heart for the loss of her as a sentient being from my life..

 

And I am still unsuccessful so far in the reorganisation of my own existence, now that this chapter is over..

 

Quite honestly, I thought I'd return to my dancing a week later, with such relief and instant renewal of energy that I could be selfish for a change.

 

But that didn't happen, as I am now emerging from months of 'crash & burn' health struggles, all that's left is to rebuild my attitude to retrieve my mental zest for living ~ my former Joie de Vivre..

 

As one day blurs into another, the only focus point for clarity has been when I look through my photos, trying to choose which one to post next… and only just realised it's Sunday today..

 

Still no communication from relatives after I informed them back in January

 

No phone calls…not even an email…family support nil..

 

So Thank You to my Flickr Friends, I suppose you are my family now..

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Done