the Foibles of Phobia
Six and a half years ago, the scientists of SETI began receiving garbled and unintelligible communications from points unknown. What they could perceive came out as a series of clicking sounds, but they repeated precisely indicating that some form of intelligence was behind the transmissions, not something randomly generated as was first thought. The top linguists on the globe were brought in to analyze the communications until finally five years after initial contact one Professor Winnefred Littledove from Lichtenstein made a breakthrough and with an army of people and computers behind her, she at long last was able to decipher the clicking into words. Those words were chilling and they read, 'Your planet is in danger, we are here to help.'
The reply was made simple for the sake of expedience and yet took days to form, 'how so?' Littledove pushed the send button herself and silence filled the room as no one even breathed in anticipation.
Two days later came the foreboding reply, 'We have been studying your world and can see that you are nearly at the point of no return in the effects of global warming, soon many thousands of species will cease to exist including yourselves if something isn't done immediately. We have a solution.'
After several days and many sleepless nights of translations
a response was hurriedly recorded and in less than an hour SETI sent its one word reply, 'Yes?'
Newly minted corporal Emmit Woodcock awoke the next morning feeling a bit fuzzy from the night before. His squad had taken him out to Galway Bay Pub and eatery where they proceeded to 'tack on' his new stripe, this is accomplished by punching the chevron on with great force to prevent it from ever coming off. Groggily he sat up and put on his slippers and headed for the loo to rid himself of a few ales. Sure enough, and the reason for the slippers, he came across yet another of his 'houseguests' and proceeded to stomp the cockroach with equal parts disgust and pleasure. "Twenty seven!" He proclaimed. No sooner had he finished his business the ancient air raid warning horns warbled on. He'd never heard one with the exception of in the movies, but there was no mistaking the noise. He hurriedly donned his OD's from the night before and dashed for the door, just before turning out the light he called out, "twenty eight!"
The ECM, emergency communication memo, on his phone ordered him to report to coordinates unknown to him and off he went. When he reached the park at Bellingham Bay his world became very surreal. An army, literally, of men were unloading sandbags from ancient deuce and a halfs and piling them to make a wall, a wall halfway around a glowing globe of tremendous size towering above them smoldering from its recent entry into Earth's atmosphere.
"What's going on?!"
Sgt. Jones gave Woodcock a quick glance, "It's an invasion, I hear that these things are landing everywhere, get busy with that wall!"
In between tosses of sandbags Emmit could see 50 cals. being set up left, right and center with infantry between. Yelling to be heard to the man next to him he asked, "what about tanks?"
"Armored is on its way, it's just us right now."
Suddenly all noises and movement ended as an audible mechanism inside of the alien craft whirred up and engaged. The bottom half of the orb opened as five doors swung slowly down and away in an unnatural and creepy movement much like a claw opening. Emmit vaguely heard the order to take cover, but he was transfixed on the otherworldly happenings transpiring before him and was consumed by the feeling of dread and although he was covered in sweat, he felt very cold. Then, through the murky darkness, the new corporal began to perceive movement, a slow, methodic wave of movement. Crawling out of the spacecraft came gigantic spiders, eight legged, multi eyed, hairy spiders and along with the clicking noises that they were making he went from cold to frozen. No one can remember if there was an actual order to fire, but fire they did. After the massacre was over there was much clapping on backs and cheering for their victory, for never was there a more fearsome enemy to overcome. Songs would surely be sung in their honor.
Back at SETI what would become known as the final transmission was finally translated roughly at the same time that the Battle of Bellingham Bay was taking place, it had taken days of work to decipher as it was longer than the rest and it read: "At last, it is so good that we can now communicate for we have so much that we want to impart to you. We have sent word to bring atmospheric condensers and we have the schematics here aboard ship so that when they arrive you will be able to set them up and not a moment too soon, any further delay would have meant a global catastrophe. I will send a team of scientists down now, help is on the way."
the Foibles of Phobia
Six and a half years ago, the scientists of SETI began receiving garbled and unintelligible communications from points unknown. What they could perceive came out as a series of clicking sounds, but they repeated precisely indicating that some form of intelligence was behind the transmissions, not something randomly generated as was first thought. The top linguists on the globe were brought in to analyze the communications until finally five years after initial contact one Professor Winnefred Littledove from Lichtenstein made a breakthrough and with an army of people and computers behind her, she at long last was able to decipher the clicking into words. Those words were chilling and they read, 'Your planet is in danger, we are here to help.'
The reply was made simple for the sake of expedience and yet took days to form, 'how so?' Littledove pushed the send button herself and silence filled the room as no one even breathed in anticipation.
Two days later came the foreboding reply, 'We have been studying your world and can see that you are nearly at the point of no return in the effects of global warming, soon many thousands of species will cease to exist including yourselves if something isn't done immediately. We have a solution.'
After several days and many sleepless nights of translations
a response was hurriedly recorded and in less than an hour SETI sent its one word reply, 'Yes?'
Newly minted corporal Emmit Woodcock awoke the next morning feeling a bit fuzzy from the night before. His squad had taken him out to Galway Bay Pub and eatery where they proceeded to 'tack on' his new stripe, this is accomplished by punching the chevron on with great force to prevent it from ever coming off. Groggily he sat up and put on his slippers and headed for the loo to rid himself of a few ales. Sure enough, and the reason for the slippers, he came across yet another of his 'houseguests' and proceeded to stomp the cockroach with equal parts disgust and pleasure. "Twenty seven!" He proclaimed. No sooner had he finished his business the ancient air raid warning horns warbled on. He'd never heard one with the exception of in the movies, but there was no mistaking the noise. He hurriedly donned his OD's from the night before and dashed for the door, just before turning out the light he called out, "twenty eight!"
The ECM, emergency communication memo, on his phone ordered him to report to coordinates unknown to him and off he went. When he reached the park at Bellingham Bay his world became very surreal. An army, literally, of men were unloading sandbags from ancient deuce and a halfs and piling them to make a wall, a wall halfway around a glowing globe of tremendous size towering above them smoldering from its recent entry into Earth's atmosphere.
"What's going on?!"
Sgt. Jones gave Woodcock a quick glance, "It's an invasion, I hear that these things are landing everywhere, get busy with that wall!"
In between tosses of sandbags Emmit could see 50 cals. being set up left, right and center with infantry between. Yelling to be heard to the man next to him he asked, "what about tanks?"
"Armored is on its way, it's just us right now."
Suddenly all noises and movement ended as an audible mechanism inside of the alien craft whirred up and engaged. The bottom half of the orb opened as five doors swung slowly down and away in an unnatural and creepy movement much like a claw opening. Emmit vaguely heard the order to take cover, but he was transfixed on the otherworldly happenings transpiring before him and was consumed by the feeling of dread and although he was covered in sweat, he felt very cold. Then, through the murky darkness, the new corporal began to perceive movement, a slow, methodic wave of movement. Crawling out of the spacecraft came gigantic spiders, eight legged, multi eyed, hairy spiders and along with the clicking noises that they were making he went from cold to frozen. No one can remember if there was an actual order to fire, but fire they did. After the massacre was over there was much clapping on backs and cheering for their victory, for never was there a more fearsome enemy to overcome. Songs would surely be sung in their honor.
Back at SETI what would become known as the final transmission was finally translated roughly at the same time that the Battle of Bellingham Bay was taking place, it had taken days of work to decipher as it was longer than the rest and it read: "At last, it is so good that we can now communicate for we have so much that we want to impart to you. We have sent word to bring atmospheric condensers and we have the schematics here aboard ship so that when they arrive you will be able to set them up and not a moment too soon, any further delay would have meant a global catastrophe. I will send a team of scientists down now, help is on the way."