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Unforgiveness - Week 31
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:-5
Holy Cow! I didn't want to read this chapter in the Beth Moore Praying God's Word book. Last time I wrote a journal entry about my thoughts from this book was about pride which was chapter 3. Overcoming Unforgiveness is chapter 11. All the other strongholds haven't spoken enough to me to journal about until this one. I not only read through this chapter but underlined practically everything. If I could scan this chapter and give it to you to read I would but that would defeat the purpose of me journaling.
If you really know me you'd know that I have a hard time with this subject. I tend to stew and hold onto things especially if I feel like I've been wronged. I also desist not being able to have closure after a fallout. Been there done that and am still waiting to find closure with a now ex-friend after 3 or 4 years. I know it may never happen and most of the time I'm okay with it. But I hate how things ended and want to make peace so that I can close that chapter of my past. And darn it, this person refuses to allow me the closure which makes things boil up from time to time.
Forgiveness will be a hard concept for you to understand if you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus and understand how He has forgiven you. I'm not talking about knowing there is a God and believing He exists. Maybe going to church once in a while because it is the thing to do or makes you feel good. I'm talking about knowing that Jesus loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. Knowing that you are a sinner (don't get your panties in a bunch because you think I'm pointing fingers at you - we are ALL sinners including ME) and that this sin is separating you from God and His plan for you: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23. Knowing that God sent His son Jesus to us so that He could be our one and only sacrifice and take our sins upon Himself as He died on the cross: "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8. And because of this when we give our lives to Him we are forgiven of our sins as we enter into a relationship with Him: "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" Romans 10:9. And "Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life" Romans 6:3-4. When you are in this relationship you will have Jesus by your side to guide you, lift you up through your trials and fill you with an unexplainable peace and joy: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" 2 Corinthians 5:17.
If you don't know what Jesus did for you you may not fully understand forgiveness nor how to give it. As you can see I still have issues even though I know how God has forgiven me.
And lets face it, forgiveness is hard especially if you've been inflicted with deep hurts by someone who doesn't seem to be sorry they hurt you. And sometimes, as Mrs. Moore points out, the person you need forgiveness from is no longer alive. I believe that many strongholds are a result from unforgivness. Beth Moore says, "Left untreated, unforgiveness becomes spiritual cancer. Bitterness takes root, and since the root feeds the rest of the tree, every branch of our lives and every fruit on each limb ultimately becomes poisoned. Beloved sister or brother, the bottom line is . . . unforgiveness makes us sick. Aways spiritually. Often emotionally. And, surprisingly often, physically." (Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 184).
When we don't forgive we become sick often bitter and that bitterness doesn't just sit with us but flows out of us to those around us. Unforgiveness has deep roots that spread out like weeds and can affect our relationship with our loved ones and beyond. Dr. Chuck Lynch says of bitterness, "Bitterness is like a rock thrown into a placid pond; after its initial splash, it sends out concentric circles that disturb the whole pond. It starts with ourselves, expands to our spouse, then to our children, friends and colleagues."
I liked that Mrs. Moore pointed out that forgiveness is not defined by our feelings but our willingness to let go. "Forgiveness means letting it go to God. Letting it go from our power to His. Forgiveness is the ongoing act by which we agree with God over the matter, practice the mercy He's extended to us, and surrender the situation, repercussions, and the hurtful person to Him." (Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 184).
I know this is hard when you feel slighted by someone who is not willing to or can no longer confess their part in hurting you. Dr. Lynch goes on to say about unforgiveness, "Withholding forgiveness until an offender understands or acknowledges the emotional pain they have inflicted is a subtle form of revenge. Why? Because it's hoping that the offender would hurt a little too, in order to understand. But this type of revenge robs you of your freedom and allows the offender to keep control of you."
Can you say, OUCH! That quote hit home with me because I tend to think this way. But after reading this chapter on unforgiveness I can see how this thinking not only hurts me but has the potential to hurt my loved ones.
Sometimes there isn't anything that can be done to make someone ask for your forgiveness other than pray for them. I know, this isn't easy and often not something we are willing to do. I think the first step to take when needing to pray for someone is to let God know how you feel. He wants you to not only tell him the good stuff but wants you to pour out your anger, hurt, bitterness and unforgiveness to Him, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us" (Psalm 62:8). This is the only way we can learn to pray honestly about how we are feeling towards someone who has hurt us. When we do this two important things happen:
1. We pour the hurt out rather than allowing it to remain and turn bitter.
2. We articulate our own feelings, thereby placing them in the view before our own eyes as well as God's.
(Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 196).
Here is what this looks like:
"For just a moment, envision your heart like a pitcher. When we've been hurt by another person, the habit we still retain from our old nature is to feed the heart-injury with incessant medication. The water in the pitcher soon becomes cloudy, even contaminated. Praying about the person we need to forgive is the means by which we dip that pitcher heavenward and slowly begin to pour our negative feelings and frustrations out to God. As we pour out, a wonderful thing happens: we make room for God to pour in. Our omniscient God knows that a heart heals when a heart changes. Until we make room for fresh contents that change our hearts, we will never be healed from the injury and subsequent feelings of unforgiveness." (Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 200).
The tricky thing about forgiveness is that sometimes forgiving and asking to be forgiven doesn't change anything. And that I think is hard to deal with. I have asked my friend to forgive me for the role I played in our parting. I had to do it through a letter asking that we meet in person so I could ask it in person but have not been granted the opportunity. It makes it very hard to move on. But I see that even in hanging on to this it is causing me more spiritual harm and it is something that I need to continue to release when these feelings creep up.
When we are able to give these feelings of unforgiveness to the Lord it drains us of our hurt because we place it at the Lord's feet where He will take it away from us and help us deal with it. When we understand and are able to forgive (even when we are the one who was wronged) we shine God's beauty through us kind of like the beautiful flower in the picture above. We are seen as being different from the weeds of unforgiveness that choke us and eventually those around us. Let us pray about our unforgiveness and see what God can do.
Krista Jones - 7.23.14
Taken from Stillness of the Morning Blog
Unforgiveness - Week 31
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:-5
Holy Cow! I didn't want to read this chapter in the Beth Moore Praying God's Word book. Last time I wrote a journal entry about my thoughts from this book was about pride which was chapter 3. Overcoming Unforgiveness is chapter 11. All the other strongholds haven't spoken enough to me to journal about until this one. I not only read through this chapter but underlined practically everything. If I could scan this chapter and give it to you to read I would but that would defeat the purpose of me journaling.
If you really know me you'd know that I have a hard time with this subject. I tend to stew and hold onto things especially if I feel like I've been wronged. I also desist not being able to have closure after a fallout. Been there done that and am still waiting to find closure with a now ex-friend after 3 or 4 years. I know it may never happen and most of the time I'm okay with it. But I hate how things ended and want to make peace so that I can close that chapter of my past. And darn it, this person refuses to allow me the closure which makes things boil up from time to time.
Forgiveness will be a hard concept for you to understand if you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus and understand how He has forgiven you. I'm not talking about knowing there is a God and believing He exists. Maybe going to church once in a while because it is the thing to do or makes you feel good. I'm talking about knowing that Jesus loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. Knowing that you are a sinner (don't get your panties in a bunch because you think I'm pointing fingers at you - we are ALL sinners including ME) and that this sin is separating you from God and His plan for you: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23. Knowing that God sent His son Jesus to us so that He could be our one and only sacrifice and take our sins upon Himself as He died on the cross: "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8. And because of this when we give our lives to Him we are forgiven of our sins as we enter into a relationship with Him: "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" Romans 10:9. And "Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life" Romans 6:3-4. When you are in this relationship you will have Jesus by your side to guide you, lift you up through your trials and fill you with an unexplainable peace and joy: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" 2 Corinthians 5:17.
If you don't know what Jesus did for you you may not fully understand forgiveness nor how to give it. As you can see I still have issues even though I know how God has forgiven me.
And lets face it, forgiveness is hard especially if you've been inflicted with deep hurts by someone who doesn't seem to be sorry they hurt you. And sometimes, as Mrs. Moore points out, the person you need forgiveness from is no longer alive. I believe that many strongholds are a result from unforgivness. Beth Moore says, "Left untreated, unforgiveness becomes spiritual cancer. Bitterness takes root, and since the root feeds the rest of the tree, every branch of our lives and every fruit on each limb ultimately becomes poisoned. Beloved sister or brother, the bottom line is . . . unforgiveness makes us sick. Aways spiritually. Often emotionally. And, surprisingly often, physically." (Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 184).
When we don't forgive we become sick often bitter and that bitterness doesn't just sit with us but flows out of us to those around us. Unforgiveness has deep roots that spread out like weeds and can affect our relationship with our loved ones and beyond. Dr. Chuck Lynch says of bitterness, "Bitterness is like a rock thrown into a placid pond; after its initial splash, it sends out concentric circles that disturb the whole pond. It starts with ourselves, expands to our spouse, then to our children, friends and colleagues."
I liked that Mrs. Moore pointed out that forgiveness is not defined by our feelings but our willingness to let go. "Forgiveness means letting it go to God. Letting it go from our power to His. Forgiveness is the ongoing act by which we agree with God over the matter, practice the mercy He's extended to us, and surrender the situation, repercussions, and the hurtful person to Him." (Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 184).
I know this is hard when you feel slighted by someone who is not willing to or can no longer confess their part in hurting you. Dr. Lynch goes on to say about unforgiveness, "Withholding forgiveness until an offender understands or acknowledges the emotional pain they have inflicted is a subtle form of revenge. Why? Because it's hoping that the offender would hurt a little too, in order to understand. But this type of revenge robs you of your freedom and allows the offender to keep control of you."
Can you say, OUCH! That quote hit home with me because I tend to think this way. But after reading this chapter on unforgiveness I can see how this thinking not only hurts me but has the potential to hurt my loved ones.
Sometimes there isn't anything that can be done to make someone ask for your forgiveness other than pray for them. I know, this isn't easy and often not something we are willing to do. I think the first step to take when needing to pray for someone is to let God know how you feel. He wants you to not only tell him the good stuff but wants you to pour out your anger, hurt, bitterness and unforgiveness to Him, "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us" (Psalm 62:8). This is the only way we can learn to pray honestly about how we are feeling towards someone who has hurt us. When we do this two important things happen:
1. We pour the hurt out rather than allowing it to remain and turn bitter.
2. We articulate our own feelings, thereby placing them in the view before our own eyes as well as God's.
(Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 196).
Here is what this looks like:
"For just a moment, envision your heart like a pitcher. When we've been hurt by another person, the habit we still retain from our old nature is to feed the heart-injury with incessant medication. The water in the pitcher soon becomes cloudy, even contaminated. Praying about the person we need to forgive is the means by which we dip that pitcher heavenward and slowly begin to pour our negative feelings and frustrations out to God. As we pour out, a wonderful thing happens: we make room for God to pour in. Our omniscient God knows that a heart heals when a heart changes. Until we make room for fresh contents that change our hearts, we will never be healed from the injury and subsequent feelings of unforgiveness." (Beth Moore's Praying God's Word page 200).
The tricky thing about forgiveness is that sometimes forgiving and asking to be forgiven doesn't change anything. And that I think is hard to deal with. I have asked my friend to forgive me for the role I played in our parting. I had to do it through a letter asking that we meet in person so I could ask it in person but have not been granted the opportunity. It makes it very hard to move on. But I see that even in hanging on to this it is causing me more spiritual harm and it is something that I need to continue to release when these feelings creep up.
When we are able to give these feelings of unforgiveness to the Lord it drains us of our hurt because we place it at the Lord's feet where He will take it away from us and help us deal with it. When we understand and are able to forgive (even when we are the one who was wronged) we shine God's beauty through us kind of like the beautiful flower in the picture above. We are seen as being different from the weeds of unforgiveness that choke us and eventually those around us. Let us pray about our unforgiveness and see what God can do.
Krista Jones - 7.23.14
Taken from Stillness of the Morning Blog