001FJ
"Be quiet and know that I am God." ~Psalm 46:10
Say hello to my little German friend! Ok, so it is not so little--it is more like a mid-size sedan. It is a 2002 BMW 530i and I really, really like it! However, I am not going to talk about BMW here, but instead about hearing God’s voice! Trust me, there is a connection!
---
Be Sensitive to His Timing
I have wanted a BMW for over 10 years, since my high school days, and I promised myself that my first car would be a BMW! After high school I worked in a warehouse and I used to put BMW wallpapers on the warehouse computer and my co-workers used to ask me, “Fadi, when are you buying a BMW?” And I always answered, “When I have money!” And we used to laugh at the idea because there was no way I could make enough money to afford buying or running a BMW.
I had worked at the warehouse to find God’s will for my career before pursuing higher education. But after a couple of years of working in the warehouse I gave up on God ever speaking to me. So early in 2006 I decided that I could not just wait “aimlessly” and I should take some “positive” step in my life, and so I decided to buy a car. So as usual I prayed to God to show me if it is the right step or not, because a car can be a costly financial investment. For two months I did not hear anything from Him, neither a “yes” nor a “no”, and I neither had peace nor felt uneasy about the idea; God was just silent. Finally in March, I found a car I liked (not a BMW, because insuring a BMW was very expensive for me at the time) and went with my uncle to the dealer to see it.
The car was nowhere at the dealer’s lot, and finally when we asked a salesperson he said it was already sold but they only update their website once a week and that is why it was still listed in their online inventory. I was relieved that it was sold because I felt like it came from God that I did not buy the car, and not due to my indecision. I guess, after all I did not feel peace about buying a car at the time. So I became quiet because I was wondering what God had in mind for me instead of buying that car, but my uncle thought I was quiet because I was upset and disappointed that the car I liked was sold. So he told me, “Fadi, don’t be upset. Let’s go look for another similar car.” But I did not want to buy a car anymore—similar or dissimilar—but anyway he took me to another dealer but I simply did not want to buy a car.
Anyway, I did not buy a car and 5 months later, in August, God spoke to me and I went back to school. Believe me when I say that I needed every cent I had saved, and a car would have been the worst financial decision because my university was in downtown and there was no way I would had commuted by driving to downtown every day. Not to mention that I spent all my time studying and did not have time to drive it, nor the financial means to pay insurance or maintain it. And I needed the money to pay for my tuition and expenses.
What I am trying to say is this: if God closes a door do not force it to open, or rush into opening another door. God does not close a door necessary to open a similar one right away, but maybe He wants you to walk a completely different path—at least for the time being. I see this mistake being done a lot in relationships. I remember few months ago a lady on a Christian site was looking for a husband and she wrote in her description something like, “24 years old. Mother of two. Looking for a man for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. Separated less than two months ago, and in the process of getting divorced.” And I thought, “WOW! Take it easy lady! Stop, think, pray, seek godly advice, wait, listen, trust, and obey!” I especially see Middle Eastern girls rushing into marriages because they were told since they were young that not getting married by a certain age--usually early to mid 20s--is a sign of failure and it means no man desires them. This could not be any further from God’s truth, because God has a unique and good plan for each one of His children.
---
Be Sensitive to His Voice
I am going to share my failures in being sensitive to God’s voice in the hopes you will learn from my mistakes.
About three weeks ago I was walking to my evening job and I prayed about buying a car. It was a Tuesday evening and I prayed in specifics about what I wanted in a 3-Series BMW, and lately I had not prayed about anything that specifically. I asked Him for 10 things I desired in the car. I also told Him, “Lord, these are just things my mind can think of. You know better. May be Your will is different. Whatever Your will is let it be done. If what I asked for is not Your will, please just ignore my prayer.” Next morning, someone posted an ad about a 3-Series BMW for sale that met 9 of the 10 things I wanted! Which was amazing because for 10 years of searching and being familiar with BMWs, I had not seen a car that fit my taste like this one—it was like he bought it for me! (Except it was a coupe and not a sedan, so it was not really for me!) So I was excited about it and called my uncle to tell him about the car. But he was not very excited about it because it was quite expensive, and after a while of talking to him and his wife (a very godly woman) I realized they were right—I simply had no peace about buy it. Because of the price tag it felt more like a burden than a blessing. But they told me I can still go see it. So before calling the seller I prayed to the Lord to show me the way. When I called the seller I immediately realized he is very rude, and I was so relieved when I finally hung up the phone. First, for not having to deal with the seller. Second, for not having to buy the expensive car!
Few days later, on Saturday night, I saw a 10 years old BMW 5-Series and I just loved everything about it! I called my uncle and he liked it too: it was spacious, well taken care of, and affordable. A week later I had bought it and I really, really like this car. But most of all I have peace about it.
In the conversation I had with my uncle’s wife about discerning God’s will, she told me a story about a man she was engaged to because she believed it was God’s will and she did not want to disobey Him, but she did not love the man nor had peace about it. She broke up shortly after because she realized they were so incompatible. She also told me how one time a man in her church told her, “God told me to marry you.” And she told him, “But He did not tell me!” The point is: big decisions, such as marriages, should not be taken based on meaningless signs and feelings. And we say things like this a lot, “I felt like God told me...”, “I felt like God wanted me to...”, “I felt as if He opened that door...”, “It felt like it was the answer to my prayers…” But our Christian walk should not be determined by temporary and uncertain feelings.
(Even assurance of salvation nowadays is “determined” by feelings! I felt happy! I felt goose bumps! (Since when goose pumps are indication of holiness and the fruit of the Holy Spirit?!) I feel I am doing ok! I feel like I am obeying God! I feel I am saved and secure! I feel like I love Him! And I feel this, and I feel that!)
I could definitely relate to the stories my uncle’s wife told me, because I had a very dear and close friend to me for 5 years, and I felt that we were meant to be married to each other. So I asked for signs and they were fulfilled (I talked about one of the signs here: www.flickr.com/photos/001fj/2474711217/), looked for verses that can confirm that idea and I found them, and everything led me to believe it was God’s will until she decided she wanted to marry someone else and she did.
---
Signs are not a completely horrible thing since we ask for signs because we want to obey the Lord and want to be certain of His will—we are driven to seek meaningless signs because we hunger to know His will. But the first problem with meaningless signs is that they can be misleading because they can happen by chance. So it is a tragic thing to base your marriage on something that can happen by chance like asking, “Lord, if three red cars stop in front of me today at the traffic light then I know I am supposed to marry this woman!” What if this happened accidentally and you married her? Chances are you are not meant for each other, and you both will live miserable for very a long time (unless you let God change you and create a love in you for each other)! God in His eternal mercy, love, and goodness prevented this from happening to me.
I am not saying you should not ask for signs. What I am saying is that the signs you should be looking for should not be meaningless like: if it rains tonight between 10 and 10:30 then I know it is God’s will to do this! The signs you should be looking for should be meaningful and based on the Word of God. For example, when getting married look for signs she will be a godly wife and mother: her character (that’s a sign!), the places she goes to (that’s a sign!), the friends she hangs out with (that’s a sign!), her words and actions like the way she dresses (these are signs!), the way she treats others (that’s a sign!).
In the example of the 3-Series BMW, I should have asked, “Do I have peace about buying this car? (That’s a sign!) Do I have peace about the price tag? (That’s a sign!) Does it meet my needs by it being a coupe? (That’s a sign!) Do I have peace about dealing with the rude seller? (That’s a sign!)” Suppose that you want to buy a house with red bricks and you found one just the way you like for 1.5 millions! That does not mean it is God’s will! God does not want to meet your needs by getting you into a huge debt (probably until you die), and making you think that somehow He will magically help you pay off the debt quickly!
The second big problem with asking for meaningless signs is that they rob us of having a personal and intimate relationship with God. Because asking for meaningless signs is equivalent to saying, “God, I don’t intend to spend time in prayer every day by reading Your word and being quiet in Your presence. I don’t intend to be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and His guidance. I don’t intend to get to know Your thoughts and how you operate. Just let this sign happen and then we are done. And You won’t hear from me until I need another meaningless sign!” What makes meaningless signs so horrible is that they say: God I want Your best, but I do not want You.
In the Old Testament people asked for signs because their sins had separated them from God’s presence—they did not have the gift of the Holy Spirit—and they needed a way to know God’s will. But the last time a lot was cast in the New Testament was in Acts 1:26, and that was before the Pentecost. After they received the gift of the Holy Spirit there is no mention of them ever casting a lot.
The best way to discern God’s will is to be familiar with His Word, live a godly life so you will not have an interrupted relationship with Him (sin makes us feel guilty and distance from Him, and we end up not seeking Him), pray and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit (especially be sensitive to the inner peace only the Holy Spirit can give).
I want to tell you one more thing: God will not send you a meaningless sign to marry someone even though you do not love her, you do not have peace about marrying her, or your personalities are incompatible. The Bible says in Genesis 2:18, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man [Adam] to be alone. I will make a helper [Eve] suitable for him.” God did not intend us to be suitable for everyone; otherwise He would not have created us all differently with different preferences. And God not only cares about our needs but also about our desires and wants. Until the day I saw the BMW 5-Series ad online I thought I was going to buy a 3-Series, but I am so glad I bought the larger 5-Series because I need the spacious interior and trunk. On top of that the car is just how I like it—all the way from headlights to the styling of the steering wheel! The interesting thing about the E39 is that so many of the interior features are hidden (e.g. the CD player, the cup holders, the cigarette lighter), and I love this because I am one of those people who feels uncomfortable by clutter, and hate to be surrounded by too many things and given too many options!
(Toronto, ON; winter 2012.)
"Be quiet and know that I am God." ~Psalm 46:10
Say hello to my little German friend! Ok, so it is not so little--it is more like a mid-size sedan. It is a 2002 BMW 530i and I really, really like it! However, I am not going to talk about BMW here, but instead about hearing God’s voice! Trust me, there is a connection!
---
Be Sensitive to His Timing
I have wanted a BMW for over 10 years, since my high school days, and I promised myself that my first car would be a BMW! After high school I worked in a warehouse and I used to put BMW wallpapers on the warehouse computer and my co-workers used to ask me, “Fadi, when are you buying a BMW?” And I always answered, “When I have money!” And we used to laugh at the idea because there was no way I could make enough money to afford buying or running a BMW.
I had worked at the warehouse to find God’s will for my career before pursuing higher education. But after a couple of years of working in the warehouse I gave up on God ever speaking to me. So early in 2006 I decided that I could not just wait “aimlessly” and I should take some “positive” step in my life, and so I decided to buy a car. So as usual I prayed to God to show me if it is the right step or not, because a car can be a costly financial investment. For two months I did not hear anything from Him, neither a “yes” nor a “no”, and I neither had peace nor felt uneasy about the idea; God was just silent. Finally in March, I found a car I liked (not a BMW, because insuring a BMW was very expensive for me at the time) and went with my uncle to the dealer to see it.
The car was nowhere at the dealer’s lot, and finally when we asked a salesperson he said it was already sold but they only update their website once a week and that is why it was still listed in their online inventory. I was relieved that it was sold because I felt like it came from God that I did not buy the car, and not due to my indecision. I guess, after all I did not feel peace about buying a car at the time. So I became quiet because I was wondering what God had in mind for me instead of buying that car, but my uncle thought I was quiet because I was upset and disappointed that the car I liked was sold. So he told me, “Fadi, don’t be upset. Let’s go look for another similar car.” But I did not want to buy a car anymore—similar or dissimilar—but anyway he took me to another dealer but I simply did not want to buy a car.
Anyway, I did not buy a car and 5 months later, in August, God spoke to me and I went back to school. Believe me when I say that I needed every cent I had saved, and a car would have been the worst financial decision because my university was in downtown and there was no way I would had commuted by driving to downtown every day. Not to mention that I spent all my time studying and did not have time to drive it, nor the financial means to pay insurance or maintain it. And I needed the money to pay for my tuition and expenses.
What I am trying to say is this: if God closes a door do not force it to open, or rush into opening another door. God does not close a door necessary to open a similar one right away, but maybe He wants you to walk a completely different path—at least for the time being. I see this mistake being done a lot in relationships. I remember few months ago a lady on a Christian site was looking for a husband and she wrote in her description something like, “24 years old. Mother of two. Looking for a man for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage. Separated less than two months ago, and in the process of getting divorced.” And I thought, “WOW! Take it easy lady! Stop, think, pray, seek godly advice, wait, listen, trust, and obey!” I especially see Middle Eastern girls rushing into marriages because they were told since they were young that not getting married by a certain age--usually early to mid 20s--is a sign of failure and it means no man desires them. This could not be any further from God’s truth, because God has a unique and good plan for each one of His children.
---
Be Sensitive to His Voice
I am going to share my failures in being sensitive to God’s voice in the hopes you will learn from my mistakes.
About three weeks ago I was walking to my evening job and I prayed about buying a car. It was a Tuesday evening and I prayed in specifics about what I wanted in a 3-Series BMW, and lately I had not prayed about anything that specifically. I asked Him for 10 things I desired in the car. I also told Him, “Lord, these are just things my mind can think of. You know better. May be Your will is different. Whatever Your will is let it be done. If what I asked for is not Your will, please just ignore my prayer.” Next morning, someone posted an ad about a 3-Series BMW for sale that met 9 of the 10 things I wanted! Which was amazing because for 10 years of searching and being familiar with BMWs, I had not seen a car that fit my taste like this one—it was like he bought it for me! (Except it was a coupe and not a sedan, so it was not really for me!) So I was excited about it and called my uncle to tell him about the car. But he was not very excited about it because it was quite expensive, and after a while of talking to him and his wife (a very godly woman) I realized they were right—I simply had no peace about buy it. Because of the price tag it felt more like a burden than a blessing. But they told me I can still go see it. So before calling the seller I prayed to the Lord to show me the way. When I called the seller I immediately realized he is very rude, and I was so relieved when I finally hung up the phone. First, for not having to deal with the seller. Second, for not having to buy the expensive car!
Few days later, on Saturday night, I saw a 10 years old BMW 5-Series and I just loved everything about it! I called my uncle and he liked it too: it was spacious, well taken care of, and affordable. A week later I had bought it and I really, really like this car. But most of all I have peace about it.
In the conversation I had with my uncle’s wife about discerning God’s will, she told me a story about a man she was engaged to because she believed it was God’s will and she did not want to disobey Him, but she did not love the man nor had peace about it. She broke up shortly after because she realized they were so incompatible. She also told me how one time a man in her church told her, “God told me to marry you.” And she told him, “But He did not tell me!” The point is: big decisions, such as marriages, should not be taken based on meaningless signs and feelings. And we say things like this a lot, “I felt like God told me...”, “I felt like God wanted me to...”, “I felt as if He opened that door...”, “It felt like it was the answer to my prayers…” But our Christian walk should not be determined by temporary and uncertain feelings.
(Even assurance of salvation nowadays is “determined” by feelings! I felt happy! I felt goose bumps! (Since when goose pumps are indication of holiness and the fruit of the Holy Spirit?!) I feel I am doing ok! I feel like I am obeying God! I feel I am saved and secure! I feel like I love Him! And I feel this, and I feel that!)
I could definitely relate to the stories my uncle’s wife told me, because I had a very dear and close friend to me for 5 years, and I felt that we were meant to be married to each other. So I asked for signs and they were fulfilled (I talked about one of the signs here: www.flickr.com/photos/001fj/2474711217/), looked for verses that can confirm that idea and I found them, and everything led me to believe it was God’s will until she decided she wanted to marry someone else and she did.
---
Signs are not a completely horrible thing since we ask for signs because we want to obey the Lord and want to be certain of His will—we are driven to seek meaningless signs because we hunger to know His will. But the first problem with meaningless signs is that they can be misleading because they can happen by chance. So it is a tragic thing to base your marriage on something that can happen by chance like asking, “Lord, if three red cars stop in front of me today at the traffic light then I know I am supposed to marry this woman!” What if this happened accidentally and you married her? Chances are you are not meant for each other, and you both will live miserable for very a long time (unless you let God change you and create a love in you for each other)! God in His eternal mercy, love, and goodness prevented this from happening to me.
I am not saying you should not ask for signs. What I am saying is that the signs you should be looking for should not be meaningless like: if it rains tonight between 10 and 10:30 then I know it is God’s will to do this! The signs you should be looking for should be meaningful and based on the Word of God. For example, when getting married look for signs she will be a godly wife and mother: her character (that’s a sign!), the places she goes to (that’s a sign!), the friends she hangs out with (that’s a sign!), her words and actions like the way she dresses (these are signs!), the way she treats others (that’s a sign!).
In the example of the 3-Series BMW, I should have asked, “Do I have peace about buying this car? (That’s a sign!) Do I have peace about the price tag? (That’s a sign!) Does it meet my needs by it being a coupe? (That’s a sign!) Do I have peace about dealing with the rude seller? (That’s a sign!)” Suppose that you want to buy a house with red bricks and you found one just the way you like for 1.5 millions! That does not mean it is God’s will! God does not want to meet your needs by getting you into a huge debt (probably until you die), and making you think that somehow He will magically help you pay off the debt quickly!
The second big problem with asking for meaningless signs is that they rob us of having a personal and intimate relationship with God. Because asking for meaningless signs is equivalent to saying, “God, I don’t intend to spend time in prayer every day by reading Your word and being quiet in Your presence. I don’t intend to be sensitive to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and His guidance. I don’t intend to get to know Your thoughts and how you operate. Just let this sign happen and then we are done. And You won’t hear from me until I need another meaningless sign!” What makes meaningless signs so horrible is that they say: God I want Your best, but I do not want You.
In the Old Testament people asked for signs because their sins had separated them from God’s presence—they did not have the gift of the Holy Spirit—and they needed a way to know God’s will. But the last time a lot was cast in the New Testament was in Acts 1:26, and that was before the Pentecost. After they received the gift of the Holy Spirit there is no mention of them ever casting a lot.
The best way to discern God’s will is to be familiar with His Word, live a godly life so you will not have an interrupted relationship with Him (sin makes us feel guilty and distance from Him, and we end up not seeking Him), pray and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit (especially be sensitive to the inner peace only the Holy Spirit can give).
I want to tell you one more thing: God will not send you a meaningless sign to marry someone even though you do not love her, you do not have peace about marrying her, or your personalities are incompatible. The Bible says in Genesis 2:18, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man [Adam] to be alone. I will make a helper [Eve] suitable for him.” God did not intend us to be suitable for everyone; otherwise He would not have created us all differently with different preferences. And God not only cares about our needs but also about our desires and wants. Until the day I saw the BMW 5-Series ad online I thought I was going to buy a 3-Series, but I am so glad I bought the larger 5-Series because I need the spacious interior and trunk. On top of that the car is just how I like it—all the way from headlights to the styling of the steering wheel! The interesting thing about the E39 is that so many of the interior features are hidden (e.g. the CD player, the cup holders, the cigarette lighter), and I love this because I am one of those people who feels uncomfortable by clutter, and hate to be surrounded by too many things and given too many options!
(Toronto, ON; winter 2012.)