Thunderhead Asgard Restomod
~An except from "Average Auto Reviews".
Ladies and gents, the Thunderhead Asgard Restomod. The official car of injecting the purest of bullshark testosterone directly in your taint for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and ESPECIALLY DESERT.
Jesus fucking christ what the hell am I doing here? This is just...no. No no no no no no NO. NO! NO! NOT AN AVERAGE AUTO, NOT WHAT WE DO! WE CAN'T LIVE IN A WORLD OF CHAOS AND DISORDER WHEN oh hey the keys.....alright, so the Asgard. The Thunderhead Asgard was a car that told it all in the title. Asgard. Ass guard. Az gurd. Aus Gord. The world of the Gods. The world of Valhalla. The pantheon of power. Really though what the Asgard is is the type of car that should just come with a spade and enough room to fit your wife's corpse, which it has neither of. The Asgard just had that glow, that aura. Anytime an Asgard would roll by, the air gets just a little thicker and you wonder just where the actual hell did all this fog come from. It's the kinda car that has that Friday the 13th "Shh shh shh haa haa haa" sound just magically generated around it. The drivers are usually into the prospect of there never being a safe word.....and yet here we are in one of the dullest experiences yet. Driving this feels like playing with your dad when he's 72 and you're like 32. First, you wonder just what the hell you're doing, then you feel depressed that dad's greatest days of youth are far, far behind him and he'll never get to feel it again because his arteries nearly choked the life outta him in the first place. The Asgard, with it's most common 3.4 L V6, moved at the paced you'd go at convincing your grandma to stop casually using the word "negro". In other words you're not gonna get very far. That is....until you go as far as you can and bring back something for the rest of us. Now, the owner of this car, huge scary dude who was pretty nice but still, biceps like the size of my torso. He needs a car like this because he's 7 Ft. The Asgard has the prestigious honor of being the only musclecar with some room. Like I moved the seat forward as far as I could and I could still juuuuuuuust reach the gas. We're not here for the size, though. Trust me, this meat's more that good enough. Let's talk about just what's happened to this Asgard. Apparently the owner ran into it in Europe of all places to find a Thunderhead, has it shipped over and restomod. Now, restomod means to "restore" and "Modernize". But to most it means putting hugeass fender flares on their Canary and hoping Michael Bay rips the design that's already been done a hundred times over. Sometimes though, you get the full package of perfect upgrades. Well, maybe not "perfect" but going hard enough to make your neighbors oily thumbs hover over the district Judge's speed dial. I mean this thing has 760 HP and nearly 800 Ft/Ibs of torque. 8. 0. 0. Every time I upshift my taint becomes GRANDMA'S POTATO SALAD. And that's a good thing, because an Asgard should be crushing me under it's iron heel. In here, as this loud, massive overpowered beast, the Asgard finally has a body it's ego can cash.
Thunderhead Asgard Restomod
~An except from "Average Auto Reviews".
Ladies and gents, the Thunderhead Asgard Restomod. The official car of injecting the purest of bullshark testosterone directly in your taint for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and ESPECIALLY DESERT.
Jesus fucking christ what the hell am I doing here? This is just...no. No no no no no no NO. NO! NO! NOT AN AVERAGE AUTO, NOT WHAT WE DO! WE CAN'T LIVE IN A WORLD OF CHAOS AND DISORDER WHEN oh hey the keys.....alright, so the Asgard. The Thunderhead Asgard was a car that told it all in the title. Asgard. Ass guard. Az gurd. Aus Gord. The world of the Gods. The world of Valhalla. The pantheon of power. Really though what the Asgard is is the type of car that should just come with a spade and enough room to fit your wife's corpse, which it has neither of. The Asgard just had that glow, that aura. Anytime an Asgard would roll by, the air gets just a little thicker and you wonder just where the actual hell did all this fog come from. It's the kinda car that has that Friday the 13th "Shh shh shh haa haa haa" sound just magically generated around it. The drivers are usually into the prospect of there never being a safe word.....and yet here we are in one of the dullest experiences yet. Driving this feels like playing with your dad when he's 72 and you're like 32. First, you wonder just what the hell you're doing, then you feel depressed that dad's greatest days of youth are far, far behind him and he'll never get to feel it again because his arteries nearly choked the life outta him in the first place. The Asgard, with it's most common 3.4 L V6, moved at the paced you'd go at convincing your grandma to stop casually using the word "negro". In other words you're not gonna get very far. That is....until you go as far as you can and bring back something for the rest of us. Now, the owner of this car, huge scary dude who was pretty nice but still, biceps like the size of my torso. He needs a car like this because he's 7 Ft. The Asgard has the prestigious honor of being the only musclecar with some room. Like I moved the seat forward as far as I could and I could still juuuuuuuust reach the gas. We're not here for the size, though. Trust me, this meat's more that good enough. Let's talk about just what's happened to this Asgard. Apparently the owner ran into it in Europe of all places to find a Thunderhead, has it shipped over and restomod. Now, restomod means to "restore" and "Modernize". But to most it means putting hugeass fender flares on their Canary and hoping Michael Bay rips the design that's already been done a hundred times over. Sometimes though, you get the full package of perfect upgrades. Well, maybe not "perfect" but going hard enough to make your neighbors oily thumbs hover over the district Judge's speed dial. I mean this thing has 760 HP and nearly 800 Ft/Ibs of torque. 8. 0. 0. Every time I upshift my taint becomes GRANDMA'S POTATO SALAD. And that's a good thing, because an Asgard should be crushing me under it's iron heel. In here, as this loud, massive overpowered beast, the Asgard finally has a body it's ego can cash.