Bloodfall: Electrotherapy (1)
"Guten tag?"
*SLAP*
"...aarrgh..."
"Ah, finally! I feared you may have been gone, too!"
"You...where the fuck?...oh shit, Wayne!"
"Oh yes, him! I apologize, he would be no help to my research, too weak, too impure! Gertrut will be here soon, she'll be sure the flesh doesn't go to waste."
"You fucking Nazi son of a bitch!"
"Ahahaha, it's been decades since I've been called anything like that. But of course, I'm a man who has decades to spare, but you, mein Freund, have no time at all."
"Bite me! Where the fuck is my armor!?"
"Oh yes! Don't worry, your armor will go to good use, you and your geliebten. The direct energy weapon on your friend here was also rather interesting. I'll be examining both, Oooh, I can't wait!!"
"Swear to fucking god when I get out of here...."
"That won't happen. Believe me. Now, let me tell you about electrocution. When electricity is introduced to the body, the muscles cramp up and you feel the most intense pain imaginable. If the voltage is high enough however the brain will go dead and the heart will fail, causing instant death! This upright table, of my design mind you, was made to replicate both these experiences in the human body. I press this button, and you are arewrapped in electricity like a storm cloud, your body in incomprehensible pain and your organs burning to a fine crisp! Always such a sight to see! Now, if you wish not to experience either of these, you will tell us how to access the ship you flew here with."
"You want on the ship?..."
"Ja."
"Well, what'cha do is you go to space google. You get internet up here?"
"We direct signals to--"
"Cool! Yeah, weird how you need the internet to get in, but hey, welcome to the future!"
"....very well, what then?"
"Then, with your space google, you type in 'www.spaceadameve.com', up in the top bar. We call that the 'URL'. Not hard to find. Now, you select 'toys', buy the biggest rubber dick you can, then wait for spaceFedex to drop it off at your lunar doorstep. You take your 20-incher out of the box, drop your pants, make sure you got lube on the side, and then you GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!"
"......."
Bloodfall: Electrotherapy (1)
"Guten tag?"
*SLAP*
"...aarrgh..."
"Ah, finally! I feared you may have been gone, too!"
"You...where the fuck?...oh shit, Wayne!"
"Oh yes, him! I apologize, he would be no help to my research, too weak, too impure! Gertrut will be here soon, she'll be sure the flesh doesn't go to waste."
"You fucking Nazi son of a bitch!"
"Ahahaha, it's been decades since I've been called anything like that. But of course, I'm a man who has decades to spare, but you, mein Freund, have no time at all."
"Bite me! Where the fuck is my armor!?"
"Oh yes! Don't worry, your armor will go to good use, you and your geliebten. The direct energy weapon on your friend here was also rather interesting. I'll be examining both, Oooh, I can't wait!!"
"Swear to fucking god when I get out of here...."
"That won't happen. Believe me. Now, let me tell you about electrocution. When electricity is introduced to the body, the muscles cramp up and you feel the most intense pain imaginable. If the voltage is high enough however the brain will go dead and the heart will fail, causing instant death! This upright table, of my design mind you, was made to replicate both these experiences in the human body. I press this button, and you are arewrapped in electricity like a storm cloud, your body in incomprehensible pain and your organs burning to a fine crisp! Always such a sight to see! Now, if you wish not to experience either of these, you will tell us how to access the ship you flew here with."
"You want on the ship?..."
"Ja."
"Well, what'cha do is you go to space google. You get internet up here?"
"We direct signals to--"
"Cool! Yeah, weird how you need the internet to get in, but hey, welcome to the future!"
"....very well, what then?"
"Then, with your space google, you type in 'www.spaceadameve.com', up in the top bar. We call that the 'URL'. Not hard to find. Now, you select 'toys', buy the biggest rubber dick you can, then wait for spaceFedex to drop it off at your lunar doorstep. You take your 20-incher out of the box, drop your pants, make sure you got lube on the side, and then you GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!!"
"......."