Bloodfall: Starlight One

Moon Nazis, bitchy old war vets, now totally bodacious billionaires? Seriously, what is my life? Wayne and Secret Agent Dickhead guided us further into the facility. Until the Agent got a call and had to leave us for a moment, thank god. Wayne became our sole guide and showed us up some stairs. Fucking stairs. At the top was a fire exit-type door. Beyond it was a catwalk, looking down into a hanger. On the hanger floor was an aircraft like I've never seen before. It was kinda...bulgy looking, but couldn't have been any bigger than a Learjet. Is this our ride to the moon?...

 

WK: "Check it out, dudes! The Starlight One!"

 

JD: "...we're going to the moon on that?"

 

WK: "Totally, dude! I like, designed it myself. It uses this like totally wicked new microwave engine, they call it the...uhhh, Canoe Drive, we'll get to the moon like yesterday!"

 

"Neat. So you're the pilot?"

 

WK: "Uhhh, yeah babe....I'm like, banned from flying actually, but that lame agent dude said one of you was like, a licensed pilot?"

 

JD: "That's this beautiful little lady right here!"

 

"...well yeah, I have a pilot's license, but it's for actual aircraft, not a real damn spaceship! And even then I mainly fly a helicopter..."

 

WK: "Don't sweat it, babe! This thing was like, designed with user friendliness in mind! You fly choppers, you can totally fly this!"

 

"What about when we're out of the atmosphere, though?"

 

WK: "Still easy! You just like, cut the boosters, then point it where you wanna go, then let the main engine do everything! It's sick!"

 

"Really, that easy?"

 

WK: "Totally, babe! You like, shouldn't need help, but if you do, I'll be on board with you! I like, know how everything on this ship works and stuff!"

 

"....whoa. I get to pilot a spaceship!...."

 

JD: "Does this mean we gotta call you captain?"

 

"....yes. Yes it does."

 

WK: "Sorry babe, but I'm the captain."

 

"Aw, dammit!"

 

WK: "We got like, a flight simulator you should try, though. Like seriously, you should take a test run. We're flying out tomorrow!"

 

JD: "What?!"

 

"Tomorrow?!"

 

WK: "I know, dudes! I like, can't wait either!"

 

"No no no no, that's WAY too soon, we don't even have our armor, or any training for outer space! We're not ready!"

 

JD: "Do you shitheads even make a spacesuit in my size?...'cause you ain't getting it back if you do."

 

WK: "I'm like, sorry dudes, but I didn't make the dates. That lame agent dude's calling the shots. He's like, soooo uncool!"

 

" *sigh* Yeah. Totally uncool...."

 

Done