Jeff is like a friendly super-robot who makes stuff. He has glowing eyes. He can not be killed by the deadliest spider on earth or even by his own doomsday scenario. He is pretty much chained to doing fantabulous things that make me laugh (and then get scared). Jeffrey wears sandals like a prophet.

Jeffrey has solved all the world's problems but he won't tell us how.

Jeffrey's like if something really funny happened to you, and then that thing came to life and beat you up and took your wallet, and spent all of your money on better stuff than you ever would have. Oh, and then it has sex with everyone you love.

If I could somehow choose the genetic makeup of my future offspring, it would be remarkably similar to Jeffrey Rowland's.