From the moment Whimsical Chris was born he was an immediate critical and popular sensation, innovative in every sense, from structure to technique and his artistic effect continues to influence young and old worldwide. He is a multi-linguist and as a favour translates the Reading Evening post in to Polish every day… Read more

From the moment Whimsical Chris was born he was an immediate critical and popular sensation, innovative in every sense, from structure to technique and his artistic effect continues to influence young and old worldwide. He is a multi-linguist and as a favour translates the Reading Evening post in to Polish every day. He has been known to remodel people’s houses in his lunch break, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. He has written several hymns while drunk and occasionally dons ankle weights and treads water in his pyjamas continuously for three days. He helped write the Beatles 8th album “Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” but was never credited. He designs jewellery with classic novels etched in to the surface which are invisible to the naked eye. He is happily married but remains a gay icon. He can pilot a bicycle up severe inclines at break neck speed and can hard boil an egg in less than 30 seconds. A case of mistaken identity has led him to be an outlaw in Columbia, Panama and Chile. Despite this he dons a disguise and visits these countries regularly to perform charity work. He understands women and children trust him. In 1983 he went completely insane and with no medical help cured himself. On 18th September 2006 he was due on board Space Shuttle Discovery for “Expedition 14” to the International Space Station. He missed the flight due to roadworks on the M4. He has the freedom of Norwich. He has mastered the Moroccan Gimbre and is the subject of numerous documentaries. On Thursdays, after work, he repairs televisions free of charge. He doesn’t perspire. He never gives out his contact details yet receives fan mail. Last year he toured Europe with the Rolling Stones and appeared on stage at every gig without them knowing. His batting average is 69. He can hurl tennis racquets at small moving targets with deadly accuracy. He knows the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. He has performed several covert operations for MI5. He sleeps once a week: when he does sleep, he sleeps in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to him. He floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee and bends it like Beckham. On weekends, to let off steam he successfully predicts the lottery numbers but never plays. If you were to shave his head you would see the words “Magnum Opus” tattooed on his scalp. Years ago he discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. He taught Gordon Ramsey how to swear. He breeds prize winning ant farms and knows who shot JFK. He has won bull fights in Seville, cliff diving competitions in Lanai and the cheese rolling race in Cooper’s Hill. He can ride a unicycle, has performed open heart surgery and has met Elvis. But most of all he is a damn good photographer.