Completely and totally self absorbed... self obsessed ... self contradictory ... complicated. frivolous. blase. flippant.

I specialize in being Fake and Pretentious.

I have been known to charm the pants off unsuspecting strangers.

I have, on several occasions unwittingly bored unsuspecting strangers to death.

[No-non-sense, down to earth, straight forward, keepin it real, girl/guy next door types NEED NOT APPLY.]