The short sighted gink.

I have never helped build a light railway across the Hindu Kesh.

I am not either an optician nor again an ortho-dontist.

I was not the 'seventh man' in the Cambridge Spy circle.

I am not an ex lover of either Madonna or Camilla Parker-Bowles.

I have not at any time designed wheelchairs.

I have never discovered a new star or any other astronomical body.

I was NOT in Kabul in August 1957 or in Devises at any time in 1998.

The only grassy knoll I am familiar with is one in Wroxham that I used to mow.

The construction of hovercraft will forever be a closed book to me.

I am not, at present, a boy band.

I do not collect the names of Railway Stations.

No one has ever called me Buzz

I have never been the subject of an alien abduction.

I use a Canon EOS 350D and I now use an Olympus C310 Zoom (aka D-540 Zoom) a Fujifilm A860 Canon EOS 350D and my photographs should be better than they are!

Get Skype and call me for free. I have never knowingly answered a phone but you can leave me a message