Susan is a wonderful person. That said, I think the following will give you a good idea of who she is: 1. She eats vegan stuff 2. She is a linguist 3. She teaches women and children to beat up guys First, the vegan thing. The thing about vegan food is, it is made out of Tofu. Don’t confuse this with the calc… Read more

Susan is a wonderful person. That said, I think the following will give you a good idea of who she is: 1. She eats vegan stuff 2. She is a linguist 3. She teaches women and children to beat up guys First, the vegan thing. The thing about vegan food is, it is made out of Tofu. Don’t confuse this with the calcite material used in horse stables. That is Tufa. The difference in Tofu and Tufa is that Tufa is sorta like concrete that never sets up. Tofu, on the other hand, is the basic building block for all things vegan. It is made from the vegan bush and it is blended with seaweed and organically grown rutabagas before it is ground into a flour and mixed with extra virgin olive oil to make a paste. In this form it can be molded into a turkey, carrot, doughnut, or anything you want. It still tastes like Tofu paste but you can put stuff on it to hide the taste. Soy sauce and garlic seems to be the preferred condiments. To sum it up; vegan food tastes bad, is expensive and is hard to find. So why does Susan eat it? I don’t know. As for being a linguist, the first thing you need to get out of your head is that it has anything to do with Italian pasta. I know it’s confusing but the stuff you get at Olive Garden is linguica or lasagna, not linguist. Susan had to go to the University of Washington and study for years to become a linguist. This degree enabled her to get a job at Microsoft where she spends every day looking for dirty words on the internet. Didn’t know you could get paid for that, did you?! Well, you can if you’re a linguist. I think, once the word gets out, this will be a very hot field to get into. Finally, Susan is a karate teacher at Feminist Karate Union (F.K.U.). If you’re a typical guy, you’re probably snickering at that but don’t snicker where any of the faculty of F.K.U. can hear you. They’re all women and they can all kick your butt. In fact, that’s their school motto: “Nos Pugna Vestri Posteri”. So, that about sums up my testimonial for Susan. I felt it was my duty. There’s a lot more I could say about Susan but I’ve probably said enough.