I have a bitchy little Chihuahua and a stableful of virtual Thoroughbreds. I anthropomorphize everything. I haven't cut my hair in four years. I sometimes base important life decisions solely on song lyrics. I'm older than I look and I'm younger than I feel. I chase vodka with high fives. I take beautiful photos of horses and boys in bands. I win puppies' trust by feeding them treats and then steal their blood. I'm as easily entertained as I am bored. Sometimes I wish I lived only at night. It doesn't get any better than Saratoga in August.