I am an unfashionable statement, a stuttering wordsmith, a self-deprecating narcissist, a graceless socialite, a deadpan jester, a photograph judged by its watermark, and the most annoying best friend you will ever have.

I have the eloquence of a rockhopper penguin, the social graces of an agoraphobic slug and a fashion sense that could probably make the '80s look good. In spite of this: a teacher (in training), Learning Support Assistant, and Personal Assistant to physically disabled students (some of the smartest people I know), thanked personally by tutors, managers and more importantly, the students. I love my job, regardless of pay, and I am as hollistically 'an artist' as I could ever have hoped to be.

I also 'go on a bit' an awful lot and have been known to frequently stumble into compromising circumstances as a consequence of some offense taken from a turn of phrase misinterpreted; I also love semantics and all that jazz. I also 'go on a bit' an awful lot.

So all in all, it's not that I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself, it's just that I haven't really got a choice.