i'm a self-proclaimed renaissance man. i'm a firm believer in the notion that "there can be only one!"...so if/when i run into my doppelgänger...so help me god, i'll fight him/her to the death. i think pickles are just cucumbers that sold their souls to the devil for eternal life. i wear argyle. i only drink Ginger Ale on airplanes. i really really really miss John Candy! i close my eyes when i get haircuts, and i stare at the sun when i need to sneeze. i love random facts, like: Sweden once used tulip bulbs for currency! and the average American spends two weeks of their life...waiting for stoplights to turn green! did you know that ALL porcupines float? did you know that the first barcode ever, was on a pack of Wrigleys Spearmint gum??? i've never been to Boston. i think funny people are hilarious. i think bored people are the downfall of this country. i respect quitters for not being losers. i'll sellout in a heartbeat. i'm a professional people watcher. i love pie. i love live music. i live for twisted humor. i think COSTCO is communism. if it's dry, i'll drink it...if it's wet, i'll smoke it...everything else gets loaded in the barrel. i shoplift for the thrill...even though i'm filthy fucking rich! i am very interested in girls with tattoos. i am very interested in girls without tattoos. all other girls bore me. my mind is always in the gutter. my gutter is always clogged. i cant think right now. i luv sushi. i hate people that love sushi just so they can say "i luv sushi". i'm an amazing kisser, but an "OK" lay (references upon request). i love interesting conversations, but just shut the fuck up for a second and let me talk. i love indie flix. i love indie rock. i love indians! i'm not a fighter or a lover...but i'll beat the shit out of you and then treat you to a candle lit dinner. i like it when random people talk to me. your still reading? click the little "Send Message" button and tell me three things you dont like about yourself! go...do it...NOW!!!