Greetings, inferior human.

I am Princess Illuvatar Sun 'n Shadow Alexandria Sacre de Birmain, or 'Alex.' Obviously, I am a Birman, which are the fluffiest, beautifullest, most precious cats in the entire world.

According to my Mother, I am the 'runt' of my litter. Now, even MY human is not perfect, but I'm pretty sure it means 'the best,' or 'the most special.'

I live with three slaves, er, I mean, humans who are all studying some silly thing at some silly human institution called a 'university.' I think that it is some sort of a prison.

I don't see the point myself - I never went to school at all, and I'm a genius!

Among my many accomplishments, I am the World Schnookle Champion, an expert Ribbon Chaser, and am an eminent surgeon, specialising in hand and facial reconstructive surgery (only on humans, of course...).

Maow.