Since last orders was permanently called on Oliver Reed, the world's male population has sought inspiration elsewhere; a real man's man to look up to and learn from. John Oxton, ladies and gentlemen, is that man.

Saying you have a more vulgar mouth than Mr. Oxton is blasphemy I tell you! All kidding aside, John is a good guy, and always times his posts well, like cutting into his best of 2005 series to hold a discussion on the proper way to wipe yourself after using the bathroom.

John's always complaining. Whether it's about the weather, food, kids, or rubbish design. But he complains in a good way... and he's passionate about his work.

John is a virile British male with a sharp wit. He uses it to insult me, to my utmost reading pleasure.

John is teh suxx. Oh, wait, he’s the hippy guy.