"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

In my spare time I am the justice given form. I put on a skin-tight moth costume and become Mothman, the dark crusader. I don't have many superpowers, but I have the Mothmobile - modified Talbot Horizon from the year 1984, a classic - and a young male sidekick who likes to dress in pantyhose and call me "sweetheart". My archnemesis is called "The Poker" and his evil plots mostly center around cheating in online card games.

I have many talents. I possess a superior analytic intelligence and my knowledge about everything and all is beyond anything ever known to mankind before me. Compared to me, Machiavelli was a minor player, merely a pawn. He was dynamite but I am a tactical nuke. In fact I know the meaning of life.

I can also write great poetry.