Before asking to become one of my contacts read the following:

Here is the fine print:

If your photostream is mainly shots stolen from the net, I will block you. I'm not interested in your stash of net porn. One, I surf the net so much that I have probably already seen it and have the carpal tunnel syndrome to prove it. Two, if what you have is so obscene that I haven't seen it it is probably illegal or, more likely, faked in Photoshop!

No photos in your profile - Sorry, but it creeps me out a bit if you don't have any photos in your profile. This is a photo SHARING website after all. Unless I personally invited you to Flickr (and in that case you would already be my friend) don't make me your friend without having any pictures in your profile. It doesn't make any sense to me. If you saw one of my pics in one of the groups in which you are the lurker we all dread, then stay there and get your thrills in silence.

Yay you have a penis! However, repetitive and boring pictures of your junk without any attempt to make the image vaguely interesting do nothing for me. I am no angel and don't presume to preach what you should or shouldn't post, but that doesn't mean I want to see a seemingly endless array of terrible pictures of your crotch. You will most likely be ignored or blocked.

If having someone call you master or sir is the only way you can get off, then I am definitely not interested. I up with that bullshit for over a decade in the army. Once again, not judging you just giving you notice that I find it repelling. I will probably just ignore you.

I don't wish to sound like a prick, but enough incidents have occurred here to make me a little weary. In fact, I really do appreciate when viewers leave comments, add notes, or mark my pictures as a favorite. However, if you favorite every picture in my photostream, that makes me a bit nervous. In fact, it makes me feel like you are stalking me online. Or you are trying to figure out some way to steal my pics. One way or the other, this creeps me out and I will block you.

Here's a big no-no...

No NAZIs! I am defiinitely not into NAZIs. If that is your thing, it's not mine! If you are a NAZI and want to be my friend then you are even more confused than I am!! Just to be absolutely clear, NO NAZIs! (Let me clarify, by Nazi, I mean an adherent to the German National Socialist Party, Adolph Hitler, Swastika, killers of millions of Jews, Gypsies, and Gays, Nazi. Or someone who just likes to dress up like one and post pictures of themselves in full SS regalia.)

[Apparently this needs further clarification. One day I opened up Flickr to discover one of my contacts had posted several pictures of himself in full SS regalia. I am not sure if he was seriously a believer or just liked to dress up like one. To me it doesn't matter, I can find no reason to celebrate the legacy of National Socialism. I blocked him immediately. While I believe in Free Speech, I don't believe in being a mandatory audience for Free Speech.]

Barring violations of the items listed above, I am glad to be made one of your contacts. "Friends" get subjected to the relatively tame minutiae of my life. These images are generally safe for work with the odd exception every now and then. [NB: I am very good about using safety filters.] "Family" get subjected to all (and I do mean all) of the not so tame parts of my life. These pictures are definitely NSFW!

I have pretty explicit tendencies. I am becoming a bit more reticent to just extend "friendship" and access to these more explicit shots. I prefer to be able to see who is seeing me. So from now on, if your photostream does not include a picture of yourself (it can be completely "G" rated portrait) then I will most likely just leave you as a contact. I guess I am getting cranky?!?

Like I said way up at the top, I am pretty easy about things. Just send me a Flickrmail (and write something in it) and I will probably make you my friend.

Unless you are a NAZI, I mean it, NO NAZIs!

Well, if you made it this far you are either really bored or almost as big a geek as I am.

About me...

First of all, my name really is Joe, short for Joseph. I take particular joy in the diminutive, Joe, because my mother hates that name most of all. Independence is the best revenge.

I am a recovering nerd. Remember the socially inept kid that always volunteered for the audio-visual team? I am that kid. Remember fimstrips? I lived to make sure I advanced the filmstrip with atomic clock precision. I wore the large glasses, the too-high waisted pants, and the K-Mart knock off Members Only(like) jacket. I played in the orchestra (last chair second violin) and was on the chess club. Folks, I was the guy people turned to for help on homework and nothing else. As a result, I am an uptight, stick-in-the-mud paralyzed by a combination of non-specific dread and general insecurity.

In the decade(s) since the social torment otherwise known as High School, I have made some changes in my outward appearance, yet I still feel like the kid at the filmstrip projector. Lately I have turned to a different use of audio-visual equipment in order to break free from my old inhibitions.

I am a self-taught photographer and have enjoyed learning about the finer points of lighting, aperture, shutter speed, white balance, ISO, etc. I started with a Fuji FinePix A330. Later I upgraded to my first DSLR, a Canon Digital Rebel EOS XTI. i have since moved up to my pride and joy, the full-frame Canon 5D Mk II with 28-70 mm f2.8 L lens. I also love shooting pics with my iPhone.

Because so many of the photographers on Flickr share amazing images that constantly remind me how much I have left to learn, I am always open to helpful suggestions. If there is a technical or artistic problem with a photo, I would appreciate your comments. It would be especially helpful if you include a suggestion for how to fix the problem.

Feel free to comment, add a note, or send me a message!

By the way, I was born in 1972. Do the math, I am well over 21.