I like things. I have hobbies. I talk loud.

I'm freelance speculator, self deprecation blogger, misanthrope, local celebrity, emasculator, amateur arsonist, future jeopardy champion...and I book rock shows.

I employ dysphemisms, neologisms, hyperboles, idioms, erotemas and parables in my daily cacophonous rhetoric. Therefore, all discourse should be taken as flippant Schadenfreude.

I spend my spare time updating wikipedia and urban dictionary.