Mandarin and I go way back. She and I opened our first deli together, in Beijing, during the war. It was the only place you could get fresh cold cuts (or "deli meats" as she called them) in all of China. Oh, those were the days. But then the Japanese came and we met up with a Swedish Coyote named Lars who smug… Read more

Mandarin and I go way back. She and I opened our first deli together, in Beijing, during the war. It was the only place you could get fresh cold cuts (or "deli meats" as she called them) in all of China. Oh, those were the days. But then the Japanese came and we met up with a Swedish Coyote named Lars who smuggled us into Japan. While neither of us look terribly Japanese, we were able to pass, blend in and lay low until after the American's came. After that, we knocked around Osaka for a while doing craft services for Godzilla and Gamera movies. (You have no idea how much the Japanese love their cold cuts--er--deli meats!) We would eventually make it back to America, but unfortunately, got stuck in separate lines at Ellis Island. We lost touch for thirty long years. Finally, in 1984, at a Shop-Rite supermarket in suburban New Jersey, we just happened to reach for the same cucumber. Without even looking at her face, I immediately quipped "Whoa--that's hot!" I looked up, saw the face of my old friend Mandarin and smiled. Of course, she didn't remember me. She claimed to not remember any of our time together in Beijing, Osaka, Tokyo or Ellis Island. She insisted that she was female and 26. She also claimed she had never even been to Beijing. "Then how come you're name is MANDARIN DELI?" I asked her. "It's my screen name, you freak!" she yelled back with great cruelty in her voice. "But I--I understand..." defeated, I paused trying to think of something else to say, then: "Wanna open a deli in Los Angeles with me?" I figured appealing to her love of deli meats would win her back over. "SURE!" she replied. So, we moved to Los Angeles and opened the Mandarin Deli, right in the heart of the Russian/Jewish section of Hollywood, on the corner of 3rd and Fairfax. You'd be surprised at just how much those Russian Jews love their Chinese deli meats (or "cold cuts" as I like to call them). Thanks for being such a great friend, Mandarin! Even if you don't remember half the fun we had. (Now, I get it! It was the booze!!)