Matthew Culnane thinks that total repatriation is the only option. Matthew Culnane thinks that 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley 'sums up the way his generation feel'. Matthew Culnane once said 'yeah, but if you don't look him in the eyes, it doesn't make you gay'. Matthew Culnane puts his Netto shopping in a Waitrose carrier … Read more

Matthew Culnane thinks that total repatriation is the only option. Matthew Culnane thinks that 'Crazy' by Gnarls Barkley 'sums up the way his generation feel'. Matthew Culnane once said 'yeah, but if you don't look him in the eyes, it doesn't make you gay'. Matthew Culnane puts his Netto shopping in a Waitrose carrier bag in a bid to keep up his upper-middle class image. Matthew Culnane once said 'if she wasn't my sister, I'd blatantly tap it, whether she wanted it or not. ' Matthew Culnane thinks that Russell Brand is the new Bill Hicks. Matthew Culnane applied to do Media Studies because he wanted to be the new Fearne Cotton, but withdrew at the last minute because he realised he'd still be lacking a fanny. Matthew Culnane once built a two-storey extension on the side of his house, entirely out of Lego. Matthew Culnane gets sexual kicks out of stepping on sticklebricks. Matthew Culnane sees nothing wrong with laughing the disabled. Matthew Culnane once used the line 'wanna have my abortion?' on a hot chick. Matthew Culnane thought 'Superted' was real until he was twelve years old. Matthew Culnane posts Argos catalogues to people he doesn't like, just so they have to pay the excess postage. Matthew Culnane buys all his clothes from Topman because he saw an interview with Busted on Popworld and they said they did too. Matthew Culnane will only speak in sentences containing an even number of syllables. Matthew Culnane was treated for post-traumatic stress disorder when Louise left Eternal. Matthew Culnane is a pseudonym applied by the Witness Protection Programme. Matthew Culnane once refused to pay his Council Tax because he thinks libraries and refuse collection are tools of government mind-control. Matthew Culnane went to Ikea when it opened but complained it was 'all a bit cheap'. Matthew Culnane is an ardent supporter of Section 28 and has been since his teacher tried to give him a 'special cuddle' when he was eight.

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