I once hated this man but we would soon become great acquaintances. It all started in the 1900's when Kee rolled up in his brand new Model T. I couldn't help but jawls over the sight of those 30" wooden wheels gleaming in the late morning sun. He took me for a ride and the acceleration blew my mind. The sound of the wa… Read more

I once hated this man but we would soon become great acquaintances. It all started in the 1900's when Kee rolled up in his brand new Model T. I couldn't help but jawls over the sight of those 30" wooden wheels gleaming in the late morning sun. He took me for a ride and the acceleration blew my mind. The sound of the wagon wheels as they skimmed over the rough cobblestone streets is something I'll never forget... "What does this have to do with photography?" you might ask in a shrill tone of voice. Well it all started as we traveled down those very same streets. Kee pulled to the side of the road and looked straight into my eyes with a look of fear that is forever ingrained into my brain matter. Slowly reaching under his seat, he pulled out a device so foreign to me that my first instinct was to dismount the Model T and sprint home. It was a state-of-the-art dslr. A 5D MKII is what he called it. I called BS... there was no way a device as small as that could take pictures of such great quality. Kee placed it in my hands and simply said, "do work". Twas a sunny day and the sun glinted off the Model T's sleek sheet metal. I proceeded to take a picture in full auto with the flash and it came out brilliant. Kee screamed "you n00b take the picture in manual mode!!". I was scared. I didn't know if I could do it... My heart racing, I slowly turned the dial to "M". Numbers and symbols appeared on the screen that, to this day, I dont fully understand. I snapped the picture and looked at the display only to be greeted by pure white. Kee ripped the camera from my hands and yelled, "you have the ISO set at 3200... there is no future in photography for you!" I ran home... Later that evening a wizard came to me with a old Pentax. He handed it to me and said, "do whatever it takes to beat Kee in the photog game." The wizard made me promise, which I did, then he flew away on a hellaflush broomstick. The Pentax broke the next day and I cursed the wizard for giving me such a shitty camera. I was forced to visit Exquisite Purchase (ye old Best Buy) in order to buy my own damn slr. I have been trying to best him ever since.... Fin.