Jeremiah has saved my life on more than one occasion. But he has killed a number of my houseplants. He has a heart as big and green and convoluted as all of Scandinavia. He's an Oldsmobile Rocket 88 in a land of Volvos. He's the stack of stolen milkcrates they sit on for cigarette breaks out behind the Ikea. I miss hi… Read more

Jeremiah has saved my life on more than one occasion. But he has killed a number of my houseplants. He has a heart as big and green and convoluted as all of Scandinavia. He's an Oldsmobile Rocket 88 in a land of Volvos. He's the stack of stolen milkcrates they sit on for cigarette breaks out behind the Ikea. I miss him, but through the wonders of modern technology, I feel his virtual tentacles holding me close.