Jason pwns.

Jason tends to hit me. This kind of abuse makes me glad I dropped his birthday cake.

I first met Jason Santa Maria on the quay just before Titanic sailed. He had lost his car keys and was nipping back to the cafe where he had left them when the ship left port on that fateful voyage. Thank God for those car keys or otherwise we might not have the Virtual Stan that we know and love today.

Jason is pixel-perfect.

Both times I've met Jason he has made a Dungeons and Dragons reference. Now that's my kinda nerd.

Jason is nutritious plankton in a sea of otherwise unremarkable chum.