I'd offer you the works of Shakespeare, Poe, or T.S. Elliot, to introduce myself. But instead, you'll get the standard profile hello. Why? Because I never know what to put in these things that doesn't make me sound like a total retard. You've all written these things. You know what the hell I'm talking about. You all hate them too. How the fuck do you introduce yourself in a tiny little paragraph? There is no right answer because we're all dorks for joining sights like this.