Oi fucknuts! Listen up... I was just sitting here at work, when a little monkey hopped up onto my desk and asked me to follow him. It was the most amazing thing! He said his name was Groβmodule and that he had something really important to show me. I followed him out into the car park and he motioned to a door I had… Read more

Oi fucknuts! Listen up... I was just sitting here at work, when a little monkey hopped up onto my desk and asked me to follow him. It was the most amazing thing! He said his name was Groβmodule and that he had something really important to show me. I followed him out into the car park and he motioned to a door I hadn't noticed before. I could've sworn the door wasn't there before, but it was a door like any other so I tried the handle and went through. Imagine my surprise when I emerged into a fantastic snowscape inhabited by a strange people. Groβmodule took me by the hand and lead me through the winding alleyways of an old village, up, up towards a glistening castle made entirely of salt crystals. There I had a meeting with Queen Bethshiba, Queen of all Snowlund, and she told me the snow people had lived happily for many thousands of years but that now a dragon comes and attacks the village and they have to appease him by giving him one of their children every year. She said it was prophecy that a tall man from another world would come one day and free the village from the terror of the dragon. Kitted out in armour of a strange green metal I had never seen before and carrying the sword Athidril, I ventured out into the deserted snowscape and travelled for many miles. Along the way I had many adventures and was helped by many colourful and enigmatic creatures: Arthur the giant, Leopold the pixie, old Mr Tom the wizard and stalwart Ruthmir the blacksmith who fixed my armour after the Battle of Ardrossan, where I defeated the evil giant snake Behmothril. In an epic battle fought among the dizzying heights of the mountains, I slew the dragon and lead the lost children back to the village. Thanking me, Queen Bethshiba knighted me and gave me the key to their land. Groβmodule the little monkey with the Fez lead me by the hand back to my desk and I got back just in time for afternoon teabreak and the toxicology reports had been put on my desk, ready for me to do after tea. Imagine my surprise when I found out he had a flickr site!

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