The speech here is all warty gutturals,

obvious as a slab of ham,

but I come from the province of the gods

where meanings are lilting and oblique.

I don't let on to everyone,

but lean close, and I'll whisper:

My mother was raped by a holy swan.

You believe that? You can take me out to dinner.

That's what we tell all the husbands.

There sure are a lot of dangerous birds around.

 

Not that anyone here

but you would understand.

The rest of them would like to watch me

and feel nothing. Reduce me to components

as in a clock factory or abattoir.

Crush out the mystery.

Wall me up alive

in my own body.

They'd like to see through me,

but nothing is more opaque

than absolute transparency.

Look--my feet don't hit the marble!

Like breath or a balloon, I'm rising,

I hover six inches in the air

in my blazing swan-egg of light.

You think I'm not a goddess?

Try me.

This is a torch song.

Touch me and you'll burn.

 

—Margaret Atwood

 

REASONS YOU WANT TO PONDER LONG AND HARD BEFORE ADDING ME AS A CONTACT

 

yes, seriously.

 

1. I'm a perfectly nice girl . . . until you annoy me.

 

2. I'm easily annoyed.

 

3. My gallery contains many photos of nudes, implied nudes, and other "provocative" imagery. All are set to "moderate" or "restricted" status, as required by flickr rules; none of those are put into groups set to "safe only." I take full responsibility for the content of my gallery.

 

4. I expect those who elect to interact with my models and me, via comments and invitations, to similarly take responsibility for the content of their words and their galleries. (As a not so incidental aside: yes, I know the difference between an object d' arte and the process of being objectified; it's just not a debate I'm willing to have on flickr. Carnal rule: Don't bore me.)

 

5. Understand This: I do not create photography for the express purpose of learning whether I have "succeeded" in sexually arousing or erotically enticing the viewer. I know: hard to believe. True story: look at the groups to which I belong. I don't add my photos to any group in which people rank, compete, or comment on the mainstream markers for "beauty," "sexual attractiveness," "wet dream factors," or any of those other lovely missions.

 

6. This is due to the fact that: my models and I are working in a different zone. If you're paying any attention at all, you'll see that I'm working almost strictly with queers and women who are fighting trauma, with resulting mind and body scars—whether those scars are visible to you is not the point. This includes me: I am a survivor of trauma. My self-portraits reflect this, as does my work with others: I came to photography solely through my training as a model.

 

7. Thus, my art is the rather more in keeping with "I'm Not Here For Your Entertainment," as a banner logo, and as a theme song *s The models are carving out a bit of ground, in which they are standing, for the first time, in pride. That means they are also standing in vulnerability. Each of them is a first-time model, not a professional.

 

8. I'm a political nightmare, for the uninitiated *s My models and I discuss the why of what has taken a body into shame, into cover, into a sense of being unresolved about being seen. Together, we politicize the shoot, for the other queers, women, and trauma survivors who will see the work. Again, this is substantively differentiated from what you might be hoping to imagine you're seeing, in the photos: those bodies aren't splayed, waiting for your gaze, your touch. For the first time in their lives, they're owning their own bodies. Even when a woman chooses to own eroticism, that choice is for her, not for the viewer. She is making herself known to herself, not to the pawning gaze of another.

 

9. Much of this work of changing viewers' perceptions of the "female form" is akin to the misunderstandings most Western citizens seem to hold regarding colonialism, genocide, and the consequences for the body of difference. In the series Mutiny and Bounty, I attach text to my photos, underscoring this consonance, if you really care why I do this.

  

10. My version/perspective of art/politics doesn't have to match yours. That's called unique and/or personal. I don't care whether I'm part of the "avant -garde," the "new wave," the "aging hipsters," the "provocateurs," or the Lacanian Others (insert lavish eye roll). I'm a middle-aged; fat; trauma-survivor; street-kid; single-parenting; lesbian of color. You really think I need your fucking approval? Mm hmm *s

  

11. Yes, my lovers and older daughters are sometimes my informed, willing models. You will be wise to treat my family with respect, as if you understand street ethics *s

  

12. For those who don't read much. . .

 

Here are the highlights:

  

If you come into my gallery to perv on the unclothed body parts, I will block you.

  

If you have no comments about photography, and focus only on what you consider to be the "hot" model, I will block you.

  

If you don't have the good sense to figure out whom I might be, before inviting my works into one of your groups, and I am offended by the content of said group, I will block you.

  

If I'm uncomfortable with what I see in your gallery or profile, I block, block, block.

  

Looking for lots of skin? Places to say "hot hot hot" and be well-received? Keep moving; there are plenty of galleries to welcome that. Isn't that wonderful? Something for everyone, here at flickr, mm hmm . . .

  

  

I've been away from Flickr. The return is slow. Vamos a ver.

 

~Emmanuela