Denise Thompson
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My story :)
I believe crossdressing is an art form where guys appearing as beautiful women are giving the highest complements to the splendor of femininity.
I am in awe of the highs to which femininity can ascend. As a guy I can only go so far in my appearance (great or poor). My feminine form allows me great latitude in my outward expressions of style, charisma, and creativity. When I dress I get to express my potential sophistication, grace, elegance, allure and even confidence that could never be expressed as my male self.
My feminine side serves as a second-self that expresses parts of my personality that does not complement my masculinity. Because my masculinity is not in danger due to insecurities, I feel safe to explore the benefits that come with developing and expressing my second-self.
In my journey to wholeness I am discovering why I find such fulfillment when I practice this cherished art form. Expressing outwardly my feminine side unearths and recognizes hidden parts of me that could never be developed, explored, or refined by the male side of me. It adds to my being rather than subtract from the guy that I am.
I feel that I make a modestly attractive guy. I do not chase women to prove that this is really true. I do have an affinity for inward ‘girls’ like myself. I understand the nature of their inner passions. I have empathized with those that do struggle with significance of their maleness. I too live a guarded life due to misinterpretation of this practice.
There's more to say on this...and here it is...
In my earliest experimental expressions of femininity (my 20's), Denise had to be 'pretty' every evening. I enjoyed the euphoria of the moment. I burned the candle at both ends. When the seasons changed and became for me years of drought, the memories sustained me as I took on new responsibilities and missions. I missed that girl so. An opportunity revealed itself in the fall of 2008 and I considered finding ‘her’ again. Over the years fears had grown like barnacles across my memories weighing me down with ever deepening questions.
I had thought I had lost most everything after waiting so long to reunite with Denise. Did age diminish her looks? Did adult responsibilities diminish her charm? Had life tarnished her sense of awe and delight with femininity? Could Denise find connections again and would they be as potentially corrosive as the first girlfriends who accepted her and took her in?
This past Halloween(2008) when I looked out at Denise for the first time in so many, many years I could have cried. There she was waiting for me all that time as beautiful as ever; wiser, more established, responsible and nearly as lovely as in her youth. She was even better than I could have imagined. She is now so much richer than before with precious friends who share the same passions, visions, hopes and fears. This was truly a ‘waiting to exhale’ moment.
Now I breathe in deeply the rich aromas of kinship, fellowship, and responsibility. I now have a rich sorority of sisters: younger, older, experienced, novice and even some that are a little naughty to draw from. Denise certainly has some issues but with my new community of sisters I look to not only explore and develop my feminine self but to bring to maturity my second-self.
My journey into OZ…
From the Halloween outing came the next odyssey in self-awareness…my trip to Chicago for the Be All conference. After Halloween my plans were to feed my longings for the expression of my second-self by vicariously living through the photos of this lone outing along with the photos of my new found girlfriends on Flickr. This plan was faulty from the conception.
First, the photos were cute but my make up was done professionally, but more importantly, not by me! The need to feed the desire to express and develop my femininity quickly consumed the photos from that incredible night. I needed more. The photos of my new sisters created an even greater longing. I watch one dear sister grow past me. She had gone from a few shy smile-less photos to a babe confidently walking through parks, attending daytime events and even wearing swimsuits for her pool-side photos within six months! (with the assistance and support of her wonderful wife). I started to consider my own growth…enter Be-All.
Next, I needed to learn how to apply my own make up. It had taken about a month to go from clown-like to girl-like but I was very diligent. I soon posted my first photos featuring my attempt at building Denise. Through very encouraging response by my new Flickr sisters, I found the confidence to continue practicing and preparing for unknown destiny with fate. I had lot of fun along the way editing photos to give me the appearance I was out and about. But it is not the same. I was only ‘virtually’ outside and ‘virtually’ with other sisters (as you will see in my Photo-shopped photos). I need real actual feel of fellowship. I needed more to be ready for my venture in OZ (Be-All).
Next, a week before the great Be-All event I visited a service that helped girls like myself (I felt I needed advise on makeup, clothes, demeanor, etc.) The experience was warm and enlightening. She could see not only my worry but my potential. After teaching me to apply my makeup, she asked if I wanted to take pictures in the park. “What?!! Outside…in the daylight…right now?!!” was my inward reaction but my outward reaction was “Yes, I would love that.” So we ventured out and took photos. I had taken my next important step toward realizing a dream.
Finally, I came to Chicago nervous and fearful of the experience. I was alone and very far away from home. I had not slept the night before leaving. I reconsidered taking the journey more frequently as the departure time approached.
After the fateful arrival into the Double Tree hotel, I felt a strange new sense of peace that I rejected thinking it was unmerited and vaporous. The sum of all my wonderful encounters with my new found sisters verified this new sense of calm. This little girl has been touched by the acceptance, kindness, and love from my new extended family.
These photos chronicle my wonderful journey through OZ and are only available to those who knock and are invited in. If you would like to be a part of this family write to me using Flickr mail and share your testimony in short.
Reprise:
Before the summer of 2009, I never accepted myself as Denise fully or otherwise. She always had to eventually go. Although she brought me such moments of contentment, I felt it was guilty pleasures. I never even allowed myself to believe that Denise could be reconciled to my life. Her only place was in the closet waiting to be buried as soon as she would stop knocking and refusing to die.
But now she lives, and not on life-support but rather on the support of her new family of sisters. My sisters help to show me who I am inside. You reveal to me that Denise has value, a role in life and that she is loved. Everything a person needs to develop and grow into their potential.
When the voices in my head start their messages of insecurity and self-hate my tendency was to escape into fantasy immersing myself at times in unproductive or destructive behaviors. Lately I have been exploring a new purpose for my femininity and alter-ego.
It has become like an irresistible intangible calling for me to encourage my sisters should any be silently drowning in despair. I am not perceptive enough to know who is hurting and who is sharing so I try to uplift everyone as I am given the words to say. You may now begin to ask the question, “so who do you think you are and how do you see your role?”
I am among many starfish after a terrible midnight storm washed out along the shore that has been tossed back into the cooling waters before the heat from the light of the morning sun bakes me into a collectable beach treasure. I return to the beach to rescue whoever shares my dilemma and fate. My philosophy: you are me and I am you. How could I not choose to save myself if I could?
Dee Dee
If you want to see the full version of my most recent videos, go to www.youtube.com/DeniseThompson
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- JoinedJune 2006
- OccupationSpeak Author
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Testimonials
Denise is a very nice, pretty, sweet, sexy and beautiful person!!!
beautiful, bright spirited, and corky!!! big sis i love you... but im mad at you!! i havent talk to you in a while... : ) HMU when you can!! xoxo Lakendra
Hey Denise, you are truly inspiring. From your writings, your classy dress, your beautiful looks, and elegant photos! Wish I was closer to Orlando. You go girl! Hugz, Dana
Wow De De.... You look gr8. What a journey u have been on reuniting with your soulz desire. Keep it up. U look amaZzing BabeZz
Hey girl, you look great keep up the great work. I saw your comment but I wasnt sure if you'd see my reply LOL, but I am an Ebay fan! Got the shoes if not all of them there. TTYS and thanks
You embody Woman hood!! I Curtsy to you!!!
Thank You So Much For The Add... Looking Forward To Sharing A Nice Friendship With You...LIFE IS WAYYYY TOOOO SHORT!!!! Live Life...Love Life...Always Be YOU!!! Also always remember that the clock ticks everyday and we can make a difference in someone's life by just a smile... =) And when life gets the HARDEST..… Read more
Thank You So Much For The Add... Looking Forward To Sharing A Nice Friendship With You...LIFE IS WAYYYY TOOOO SHORT!!!! Live Life...Love Life...Always Be YOU!!! Also always remember that the clock ticks everyday and we can make a difference in someone's life by just a smile... =) And when life gets the HARDEST... Give more LOVE than you have ever known possible... Hugs, xxx
Read lessDenise, you are a wonderful person and I am truely blessed to have had you come into my life. I draw from your strength and creativity and incorperate it into me. Your kindness, understanding and caring for your sisters is seemingly without bounds. You have accepted me as "little sister" and now you're stuck with me! … Read more
Denise, you are a wonderful person and I am truely blessed to have had you come into my life. I draw from your strength and creativity and incorperate it into me. Your kindness, understanding and caring for your sisters is seemingly without bounds. You have accepted me as "little sister" and now you're stuck with me! Infinite Possibilites, Lisa
Read lessFrom a shy young man looking like, what am I doing here. The first day of be-all to to a stuninng and gracious young lady during the week she grew in confidence. When I seen her Sunday morning she may have had a drab appearence, but what I saw was the beautiful young lady. hugs donna PS hon wipe away those tear… Read more
From a shy young man looking like, what am I doing here. The first day of be-all to to a stuninng and gracious young lady during the week she grew in confidence. When I seen her Sunday morning she may have had a drab appearence, but what I saw was the beautiful young lady. hugs donna PS hon wipe away those tears.
Read lessDenise is such a rare girl. Her outer beauty is so obvious; but this girl is not only beautiful. She is warm, intelligent, friendly , so creative and a musician to boot. I just love calling her my friend. I got a chance to meet with her at Be All and I will never forget this girl; she really touched my heart. … Read more
Denise is such a rare girl. Her outer beauty is so obvious; but this girl is not only beautiful. She is warm, intelligent, friendly , so creative and a musician to boot. I just love calling her my friend. I got a chance to meet with her at Be All and I will never forget this girl; she really touched my heart. Love you girl, Leslie
Read lessu look great,,,,yes the pic is mine