Oh, hello there!

Oh, dear, you find me quite unprepared for all this. I was just instructing my hordes of servants on the construction of my new mansion. It is quite exasperating: the witless buffoons almost installed the bally marble floor in the west wing despite my clear decree to use said material in the grand foyer, where it will beautifully set off the arches that define the space. It's my own fault for being so tolerant of them, I suppose, but one tries to put up with the plebes. In any case, I am thoroughly delighted to be here on the inter-net, and look forward to annexing it to my estate.

You will all be whipped for insolence. Look thankful.