Brad is a professional writer, making his living both penning and editing scripts and lyrics for the performance groups he produces, and authoring obscene poems and fantastical short stories, which oftentimes get adapted into absolutely game-breaking campaigns of Dungeons and Dragons. Brad ascribes to the theory of the natural order of the universe, a religion he invented wherein everything exists exactly as it has and will continue in a predictable manner, except that all other religions were farcical lies concocted around satirizing our own human ignorance. Oh, also, dwarves are considered sacred, elephants are actively trying to read our minds, and when we die, if an obituary is not printed, we threaten the awakening of the ancient force, known as Modulario, a being that lives on the discord created by adding colors to the universe - you might have noticed that the definition of Mauve and the Great Fire of London occurred within a few hundred years of one another.

Brad likes to play games more than just about anything in the world - he makes them, runs them, tweaks them (and stimulates them in similar ways) and participates in them; tabletop, console, PC, board, he's had them all. And, played them, as well. Additionally, Brad loves to write, as was established in the first paragraph, he likes to repeat things (as evidenced in the prior half of this sentence), he loves to watch TV and Movies, and he excels in unnecessary capitalization. He's also a fan of long-winded (though not technically "run-on") sentences. Brad is also a collector of "Fun Facts", and loves to spew them out at random, much like the placement, though not the density of freckles (which are influenced by genes and exposure to sunlight, whereas freckle placement is one example of randomness in nature - fun fact). While Brad hasn't seen many movies released prior to the 1970s (much to his wife's chagrin - yes, he's married; sorry fellas) he has a keen appreciation for modern movies, and specializes in comedies from the 1990s. His all-time favorite TV show was the formulaic but thoroughly captivating "House, M.D.", and with truly entrancing stories, Brad has found himself wanting to switch professions, fairly readily; for instance, House made him want to become a doctor, and "The Postman" made him want to become a cameo of Tom Petty.

Brad is uniquely skilled with many unusual talents; he can type one-handed while eating a banana (a feat he first mastered while commenting on a rather gratuitous YouPorn video, leaving him confused for days, and unpleasantly turgid at the odd whiff of certain nut-breads and cream pies), and he can also aptly differentiate the proper usage of: a comma, parenthesis, colon, semi-colon and dash - all of which have been used in this paragraph-long sentence.

Many famous quotes have been attributed to Brad, such as: "Paying a tranny to give me a squeezer over the open grave of a freshly dead whore isn’t what I’d consider losing my virginity."

and

"I'm going to go use the powder room. I have to shit."

Brad is currently living in the Kansas City Metro. When his body will be found having been poisoned by chewable Flinstones vitamins, he will be survived by a wife, a cat named Caladan, and a mountain of credit card debt in his cat's name "for tax purposes".