Boris: Student of philosophy. He was at Shimer, but has transferred to Lewis & Clark in Portland. He thinks Boise is much better than Chicago, which can go suck a duck for all he cares.

Natasha: Student of visual art, et cetera. She was at The School of the Art Institute of Chicago, but has transferring to Pacific Northwest College of Art. She is offended by those who define her by the school she attends.