Who are you?

Why are you here?

Are you stalking me?!

Alright, I'll tell you a few things about me, if you promise never to talk about them to me.

1) In my mind, I'm a better photographer then I actually am.

2) I would like to punch the next person that says "[blank] is the new black".

3) Those Baby on Board signs in people's cars make me want to ram into them with mine.

4) I hate visors. I don't feel I have to explain further.

5) Despite of my rage, I sometimes enjoy a chick flick.

While I have your attention...

• I think the person who first said the words 'mean people suck' must have been a sissy.

• 'Ring-tail-butt-monkey' sounds extremely funny if you say it more then 2 times. But the humor wears off after a dozen tries. No one knows why!

• A wise man once observed: A flute without a hole is not a flute, a donut with out a hole is a danish.