It's hard to imagine life, Hollywood, or even something as commonplace as the 2:00 AM chicken and waffle tete-a-tete without the company of the fair doctor, one Prof. Austin Coloquios Bumbershoot. There's no man alive that can't say his life's not a hound's hair better ever since the day Austin drove the first spike i… Read more

It's hard to imagine life, Hollywood, or even something as commonplace as the 2:00 AM chicken and waffle tete-a-tete without the company of the fair doctor, one Prof. Austin Coloquios Bumbershoot. There's no man alive that can't say his life's not a hound's hair better ever since the day Austin drove the first spike into this new era, and that's the nitty-gritty. Pay no heed to the words of the so-called carpetbagger philanthropists: cajolery is paltry politics at best. Back when we all had to work for our salt, Austin showed us that the future belonged to every man. So, listen up. If you're worth even half your hide, you'll tip your hat and your bushel come harvest time: it's the least you can do for the man that taught us all how to make such amazing balloon animals.