I don`t wanna be packaged in a holiday resort. I don`t wanna be caught up in a marketing format. I don`t wanna live up to some dorky

stereotype. I am a dynamic figure, often scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo men & women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. When I`m bored I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don`t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I run the 100m in 9.56 secs. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me.