Conrad wrote that every man has a heart of darkness and I think that’s true, but I think a certain book written by Robert Louis Stevenson, about the duality of man, illustrates my good friend Nora Murphy and the story I’m about to tell here better. Hopefully by the end of this story, you too will understand her complex… Read more

Conrad wrote that every man has a heart of darkness and I think that’s true, but I think a certain book written by Robert Louis Stevenson, about the duality of man, illustrates my good friend Nora Murphy and the story I’m about to tell here better. Hopefully by the end of this story, you too will understand her complexities a little better and heed this parable as a warning the next time you see a little red haired girl and are tempted to call her “carrot top”. I agreed to meet Nora and her husband Rudi in a waffle house that was a frequent hangout for truckers and bikers 5 miles outside of Los Vegas. It’s the type of place that offers a 32 once steak for free if you can finish it in one sitting. Rudi sounded weird over the phone, something was up. When I arrived, I found Rudi sitting by himself nursing his fifth Jack and Coke of the evening (minus the Coke part). "It was terrible." Rudi says as he downs the rest of his drink. His hands are still shaking at this point. "If they just didn’t call her 'carrot top' I think she would have eventually calmed down". Rudi then proceeds to tell me a story of an emotional transformation and a ballet of extreme violence I couldn't possibly do it justice here. Nora’s campaign of terror started when a couple of members of the Mongrel motorcycle club started to whistle and make catcalls as she and Rudi were walking by a bar. Nora shrugged off the remarks until one unfortunate member of the motorcycle club, a 300 hundred pound two time convicted felon named "Tiny", called her "carrot top". At that moment a switch was flipped in Nora’s brain. No longer was she lover of small woodland creatures and the knitter of hats. No, this was someone else…someone terrible. Without hesitation Nora calmly walks over to the row of motorcycles parked in front and kicks them over with a domino like effect. With out slowing her step, she then grabs Tiny by the Adam’s apple, shaking him like a rag doll. When one of the other bikers tries to interject, Nora responds with a swift kick to his groin, followed by an upward blow to the biker's nose…breaking it instantly. Rudi said that he tried to reason with Nora at this point, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. Nora then bites off Tiny's ear and spits it out like a bad piece of beef jerky. Rudi pauses from telling the story at this point to down his sixth drink. His hands are only shaking a little at this point. "I've never seen a man that big cry like that. I'm pretty sure I heard him call out for his ‘mommy’ when Nora put her thumbs into his eye sockets. It was just...awful" He says this as if those words were inadequate and his gaze suggested that he was reliving the event if only for a moment. Anyway, the cops showed up, they had the helicopters circling overhead, snipers on the roofs, the whole nine yards. When the police captain watched Nora kick the lights out of yet another squad car, yelling at the top of her lungs "I AM THE MUTHA F--CKING ELVIS OF VIOLENCE YOU BITCHES!!! WHO ELSE WANTS SOME?!! HUH? WHO?!!" The captain looks to Rudi and asks, "Is there anything that might calm her down? I only ask because we’re out of rubber bullets an I can’t guarantee the Mongrels their safety" Rudi paused a moment and says, "well. She likes kittens a lot.... she thinks they're...um.. snuggly." " ….snuggly." The police captain repeats flatly. Rudi sheepishly shrugs. The captain turns to three of his men and says "Alright listen up, I want every man not stationed to contain the situation to go to every animal shelter in 15 mile radius and get me every kitten they can find. Nothing older than 3 months and make sure they’re.." He looks over to Rudi. “Snuggly” Rudi prompts. “…Snuggly” the police captain repeats. Rudi’s story is interrupted at this point when Nora approaches the table. “Bill! You made it!” she says and gives me a big hug. She must have seen the look of horror on my face when I noticed the fresh shiner on Nora’s left eye. “Oh this? It’s nothing really. Is my steak here yet?” she asks looking around. “I don’t know why it’s taking so long, I mean I did order it raw after all”. The last part she says a little louder, which does the trick because a waitress produces a raw steak almost immediately. Nora picks up the steak and places it right on her black eye. I look down at her knuckles and notice bloody fragments of what looks like someone’s teeth imbedded in them. Rudi later tells me he’s pretty sure they were the front teeth of a bouncer named “Jimmy No Neck”. Nora follows my gaze and looks down, “Oh fiddle sticks...I chipped a nail. Look!” she shows Rudi her bloody hand with a pout. The rest of evening was uneventful and we spoke of pleasant things as Nora finished her raw steak. Nora’s plate was empty within the hour, so the steak was free.

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