I'm a starving artist with no life and barely any relevant or interesting hobbies.

I have few friends, awesome neighbors and lots of vermin. I had a few websites over the years but they have since started disappearing as their hosts vanished off the face of the internet.

I am a novice of most trades and a master of... writing?

If I do not become a famous writer, I will be homeless and starve to death. Oh well.