I grew up in a giant shoe, my family didn't make mouch money, so they generally struggled to make ends meet. Because of this, the only food they could afford to feed me was cereal in cocaine. Later on in my early teens, I attended the Phantom of the Opera high-school where I sold my coke for unreasonable prices and became rich. I could now afford more food, so I bought things like giant sundaes, apricot pie and 2-story sandwiches.

I dropped out at 15, because I got sick of hearing the Phantom of the Opera tune played on organ everyday, I dropped out the same year I joined, and a few months later I gathered together my friends to start a dream-pop / death-metal / reggae fusion band called "And They Will Know Us By The Colour Of Our Library Cards". We still play in my garage these days, and we changed our band name to "The Mysterious Gingerbread men and Elephants of Optimus Prime's Zoo"

In my recent years I worked at a nuclear power plant, but then I got infected with plutonium and as a result I mutated into a half bird-man half octopus. I now live in a secluded giant sandcastle somewhere in France. Now I sit here writting this with my tentacles :p